Hockey Jagoffs

Apr 16 2012

Pens Game Frustration

 

We’re Pens fans and we are feeling like sore losers sooooooooo, we’re going to whine!

Max Talbot, we had a hard time NOT-LIKING you but, now we OFFICIALLY don’t like you – professionally, not personally!

Scott Hartnell, we REALLY hate you.. professionally AND personally…including that long hair and smirk!

Referees, not sure you did anything wrong other than not stopping the madness early on so that the rest of the game didn’t get so out of control but, either way, we ALWAYS hate “the stripes” sooooooooooooooo we hate you!

Marc Andre Fleury… we don’t hate you, we hate the defense in front of you but, PLEASE get your contact lense prescription checked… we DON’T hate you.

Pens coaches, can we PLEASE do some hockey-basics coaching about how many times the boys.. Staal, Martin to be specific.. are standing around watching the game vs. taking just one extra step to beat somebody to a loose puck?  We don’t hate you but, if ya lose in the first round again this year, Mr. Shero’s gonna have to edit his Christmas card list for 2012.

And finally, to the Pens defense… quit standing around, skate to a man, skate to a loose puck, lift someone’s stick, block a shot (it’ll only hurt for a little bit), stop pinching in and for CRISSAKES….look behind you for young Flyer players that keep racing to the net and leaving you in their fog, YA JAGOFFS!!!!!!

 

NOTE:  Now that we have THAT off of our chest, LETS GO PENS!!  Make some history with  rare 4-3 comeback!!!!!

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Apr 11 2012

Ranger Writer… Nothing But A Babbling BROOKS!

We love opinions.  And the best thing about them is, for every opinion we don’t like, there is potentially a Jagoff blog post.  And THIS is one of those.

New York Post writer, Larry Brooks (@NYP_Brooksie) wrote his opinion in an article on his “Slapshot” Blog about the Penguins being protected by the NHL.

…the Penguins are the NHL’s version of Made Men, not only untouchable but  protected by the authorities against insult.

Read more HERE

He believes the Penguins players and Mario are the favs of the NHL and therefore live under a protected double standard.   (Wait, how many games was Matt Cooke suspended last year?) 

One of his examples:

While he agrees that Mike Milbury is an idiot as a broadcaster, he sees the fact that Milbury has never been forced to make an apology for something he said on the air until he ripped the Pens on Philly radio station talk show.  The key point that Broooks LEAVES OUT is that Milbury tastelessly slapsticked Sid’s “35 consussions.”

Another Key Point:

Brooks compares Mario Lemieux’s call-out to the NHL on failing to respond appropriately to the big fight between the Pens and the Islanders last season to the recent f-bomb laced rant by Rangers’ Coach John “I need Xanax” Tortorella about the Penguins stars playing dirty.  The key difference, on THIS one, is the fact that Mario took the time to write a professional letter to express his opinion whereas Tortorella ranted classless like a…well,  like a Tortorella therefore earning a fine.

The article ends with:

The 11th Commandment: “Thy shy not speak ill of the Favorite Son.”

Everyone is on notice from the league. The problem for the league though, is  everyone has noticed the double standard as applied to the Penguins by a league  that was silent when Lemieux, coolly detached two days after an event, attacked  the operation but reached into Tortorella’s pocket for $20,000 …

We say, Larry the-babbling-Brooks, your probably a hero to Rangers/Flyers fans with your article.  It’s an easy position to be a hometown cheerleader sports writer.  Did you hear the giddiness in the two knucklehead Philly talk show hosts when Milbury was ranting?  We guess that you giggle the same way when your fans give you a pound and yell, “You da man! Nice SMACKDOWN!” It feels good to be popular doesn’t it?

By the way, Brooksie, we usually act giddy when we mess with people’s names on our blog but our attempt on yours, above, was admittedly pretty weak.  But so is that twitter name of yours.  So, given your journalism integrity and immaturity, we’re gonna get all GIDDY and propose one of THESE names from our 6th grade science notebook for you, Ben Dover, Harry P. Ness, Hammond Eggs, Phil McCracken and Phil McGroin, Lee Nover, and Oliver Closeoff.

See?  Now WE’RE giddy, Ya Jagoff!

NOTE: Readers vote below for Brooksie’s new name or make up one yourself.

Last summer you helped us win one of CBS-Pittsburgh’s Best Blogger Awards. 

Pittsburgh Magazine now has a poll.  We would appreciate your vote, click below to get to the ballot.

VOTE HERE

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Apr 3 2012

Bump The Drunk Bus Driver, Bring In Mike Milbury!

 

So we had Mr. Drunk school bus driver slated for today but, NHL hockey announcer, Mike Milbury, started mucking and grinding in the media corners yesterday and rose to the level of “Breaking Jagoff News” today.  (Mr. Drunk bus driver will be here tomorrow.)

So, some of you may not be hockey fans and having two hockey related posts in a row might be killing you.  But, if you don’t take kindly to people dis’ing Pittsburgh, this post is right on target.

Yesterday’s post talked about the craziness of the last Pens vs. Flyers game.  ALSO yesterday, unemployed hockey coach/administrator turned NBC NHL announcer (cuz nobody else will hire him), Mike Milbury, did a phone interview with a Philly radio station about the last Pens vs. Flyers game.  During that interview, Milbury says that Pens coach Dan Bylsma needed to “take off his skirt” because he didn’t become unprofessional and jump over the boards to fight the Philly coach on Saturday.  Milbury then says “Crosby is a punk,” and makes fun of Crosby’s “35 concussions.”  You can watch/listen to the video below from KDKA’s Bob Pompeani.

One of our favorite parts of this interview??  The knucklehead-cheese-steak-eating talk show hosts that seem to have nothing intelligent to say, other than their cigarette-smoker laugh, like Beavis and Butthead, when Milbury says (about Crosby) “SCREW HIM!”   (Henh, henh…..henh, henh He said SCREW!)

As a quick side note, we put this on Twitter and Facebook yesterday but thought we should mention it here too…

Due to the “fight potential” of the upcoming Pens/Flyers rematch on Saturday, the Penguins have signed noted enforcer Ken Melani to a 1 game contract.

Back to our man Milbury.  It’s well known that Mike Milbury, as a hockey coach/administrator was a total failure.  His NHL reporting, is about the same but he continues to get paid and now seems to be carving himself a circus-personality like Hockey Night In Canada’s infamous Don Cherry.

Hey Mike DINGLEbury, keep up the good work.  With the kind of credibility you’re building, you might soon be promoted to selling balloon-busting-darts with a traveling carny group, “3 darts for a buck!”  In the meantime, since you seem to idolize Canada’s outlandish Don Cherry, we thought we should put our Draw Something app to work to HELP your image, YA JAGOFF!!

Vote Now!!!  Pittsburgh Magazine Poll – Favorite Blogger!!

Last summer you helped us win one of CBS-Pittsburgh’s Best Blogger Awards. 

Pittsburgh Magazine now has a poll.  We would appreciate your vote, click below to get to the ballot.

VOTE HERE

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Apr 2 2012

Pens Vs. Philly Flyers… Get Ready For The Playoffs

If you did not see yesterday’s Penguins vs. Flyers game, well….we lost but what an ending!

The end of the game had bodies, punches, equipment everywhere and coaches ready to throw down soooo much that they are willing to walk on the edge of the boards to get to the other guy. (Click HERE to see  the blow-by-blow summary from NBC.)

A written summary for those who could not watch the above video:

Crosby got cross-checked as he was exiting the ice after the whistle.

Joe Vitale SLAMS Philly’s star Claude Giroux with a shoulder knocking the dust out of his ears.

The “fight dances” begin all over center ice.

Coaches yell things about each other’s mothers and fathers.

Penalties, hard feelings, pouting, testosterone build-up.

Hey Philly Flowers…. you’re just as classy as the residents that beat-up the Rangers fan outside of Jeno’s during the Winter Classic, Ya Jagoffs!

 

Thanks to those who attended the Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation’s Celebrity Charity Ice Hockey Game this past Saturday.  Click the Hanson Brothers photo see see the “Behind the Benches” video.

 

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Mar 7 2012

Sidney Crosby, “Cleared For Contact!”

NOPE! This doesn’t mean Sid’s cleared to be fitted for contact lenses.  Sid is cleared to return to hockey.  This is soooo sprung upon us.  This situation is like the epitome of the old line, “If I’d have known ou were coming I’d have baked a cake!”  God, we’re all so caught off guard!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What do we do??????

So last night, on Facebook we asked,

Sid Crosby is back…. should this be a day off of work and school?

Here’s what we got:

Wait!  It snowed the other day which means we ran out and got an emergency stock of milk, bread, cheese and toilet paper.  That’s the start of a party!

C’mon, SOMEONE hurry up and do something!! Sid is back, we need a parade, fireworks (’cause EVERTHING in Pittsburgh gets fireworks… Fireworks Nights are the only time the Pirates actually sell out their games), a bring-in-snacks-and-wear-your-Crosby-jersey-to-work party and, for Crisssakes, we probably even need  a day off of work and school…. this is waaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than the first day of Deer Season, Ya Jagoffs!

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