Hockey Jagoffs

Boston Bruins’ Shawn Thornton



We’re talking hockey today.  If you don’t like or understand hockey, by the time this blog post is over, you will neither understand hockey or like hockey any more than you do now.

Saturday night, the Penguins went to Boston to play the Bruins.  In the first period:

1) Pens defenseman, Brooks Orpik, takes out a Bruins player with, some say was a questionable, thumping hit.

2) The Penguins’ James Neal appears to knee the Bruins’ “Jagoff in Residence” Brad Marchand while he’s kneeling on the ice. Play stops.

3) The Bruins’ Shawn Thornton is sent to the ice during the play stoppage and slew foots Brooks Orpik to the ground then proceeds to punch him in the face, with his gloves on, and renders Orpik unconscious… and eventually he receives a stretcher ride off of the ice.

The video of the play is below.   The Orpik hit is at the 28 second mark.

All of the stuff listed above… bad.. bad.. and more bad.  But….Shawn Thornton’s Epic-Orpik-Knock-out REAL bad.  Orpik had zero chance to defend himself.

And after that, Boston-CBS Reporter, Matt Kalman wrote an article calling out the Bruins for their goonism… a pretty fair article calling both teams wrong but the Bruins even WRONG-er! (Yes I know that’s not a real word.)  You can see the article here.

If you read it, you will see tons of comments of Boston fans calling this Kalman out.  But the one that dragged my eye down the page, to the point that my eye was sticking to the computer screen, was this comment:

Dave Silva 

time to attack those girly losers in pittsburgh some more. Hey muslims, we have a target for your dirty bomb.

Wait, are you serious?  Hey you illegitimate son of Bill Belichick and a random Salem Witch, are you from the same Boston that everyone supported after being bombed??

To sum this up, Brooks Orpik came home with the Pens that night after a hospital visit.  And one has to believe that he is frustrated beyond belief that he didn’t get to throw a punch at Thornton.  Lots of pent up anger!!!  I pity anyone who cuts Orpik off in traffic, or takes the last mall parking spot away from him or breaths wrong in his general direction.

In the meantime Shawny T… good luck sleeping.. we saw your mea culpa video but not going to publish here on purpose.  Trust me from my Catholic School Days.. guilt is a bitch!  In the meantime, stop watching RoadRuner/Wile E Coyote re-runs… when people get hit like that in real life, they don’t just blow into their thumbs and re-inflate themselves.

If ya want to show Orpik and the NHL you’re sorry, go punch the @#@$ out of that guy Dave Silva how made the “bomb Pittsburgh” comment and even further embarrassed your city, YA JAGOFF!!!


Potential Reasons For The Pens Loss


O.K.  The Penguins are not longer playing.  The players have moved out and now we sit and wait. But the radio and TV talk shows are full of brilliant ideas as to how “Tom, midnight caller from the North Side” believes Coach Bylsma should have run the team.

And, as I posted on Twitter and Facebook yesterday… the thing that TICKS ME OFF the most about the Penguins losing earlier than expected is, I had just finally figured out how to spell and pronounce Iginla correctly!!!  And now have ZERO use for that knowledge.

Well, I’ve been over this a thousand times and I think I’ve been able to summarize why the Penguins lost.

1) I always where a Pens ball cap when taping the Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff segments.  Last week, I thought it would be cool to purchase a NEW Pens ball cap when we were interviewing Pens P.A. Announcer, Ryan Mill.  The last time I purchased a new Pens item during the playoffs, a golf shirt, the Pens lost game 7 of the finals to Detroit. Watch the interview HERE

2) Someone got the bright idea to sell sponsorship and special seats at the Pens outside TV event instead of leaving it just a free, crazy event like it used to be.  Kind of reminds ya of the whole flooding/ark thing!!

3) I started to plan a “watch the Stanley Cup Finals party” for my driveway BEFORE game one of the Bruins/Penguins series started.  Someone please tell Ray Shero to spare Coach Disco Dan and let him know that I bear this responsibility.

4) The Penguins couldn’t make a tape-to-tape pass to save their life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This one is on them)

5) Finally, the driver of the car in the pic above.  All kinds of Pens stuff around town the past 3 weeks.  Logos EVVVVVVVVEEERRRRRYYYYWHERE!!  And then ya have THIS guy that buys a discounted logo somewhere and puts it on his car… and its BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That was the clincher.  we have it on good terms that the “Hockey Gods,” when they looked down on Pittsburgh to check on our potential to be labeled as a “Hockey Town,” saw this guy and, yep.. you got it.. they held up their finger and their thumb in the shape of an “L” on their foreheads (Credit to Smash Mouth for that one) and said, “Let the Bruins win! So let it be said, so let it be done!”

So all of you can go ahead and blame ME for switching hats and planning a Final Round viewing party too early.  Blame a little on the Penguins for execution.  But……….Let’s ALL point the finger at the guy that put the logo on his car backward.  As my dad would say, BASS-ACKWARDS!!

Dude, logos are all over. You can’t look at one of them and get yourself a little guidance on how to put one on your car correctly??

It’s all because if YOU that the Hockey Gods blessed the Bruins to beat the Pens.  Enjoy your BASS-ACKWARD logo, Ya Jagoff!


Thanks to @YinzerJagoff and @RockyCallie  on Twitter for being Jagoff Catcchers!!




Don’t Forget To Order Your Own T-shirt

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Jet Blue Pilot Jagoff


Hey, we usually have a video posted here on Wednesdays. But, we had to get this posted for sure.

Breaking Jagoff News!!

The other night on a Jet Blue flight to Boston, after the Pens/Bruins game, a baby was apparently crying and the pilot made a comment that Sidney Crosby must be on the plane. No doubt the, ready for prime time, Boston media, headed home with smiles bigger than me when I score my one goal per year in pick-up hockey, got some joy outta that. A couple of them tweeted about it as you see above.

Well!! As Sister Anecita would say to someone “clowning around” in her religion class…..”So you think your’e funny mister? Let’s see how funny you can be in the Principal’s Office!”

Jesus… the Bruins beat the snot out of the Pens and that’s all you can muster up? There’s good reason why your a pilot and not a writer for David Letterman!

Now some Pittsburghers say the guy should be fired or that we should boycott the airlines or… blah.. blah.. blah!

We say, get Sid to write a check tomorrow to buy the entire Jet Blue airline and then do an episode of Under Cover Boss with that guy. Better yet, get Sister Anecita on that plane and let her know that Mr. Pilot thinks he’s a clown! His knuckles and mental state will NEVER be the same.

Hey “Jet Blue JazzBo,” keep up those high-level jokes and maybe a real airline like Southwest will hire ya! Better yet, you might even get a cable show, “The Cash Cabin!” where people get to play trivia questions for money during their trip and get kicked out of the emergency exit when they miss 3 questions. (Get it?? A little take on Cash Cab!! lol!! I should be writing pilot jokes!!)

But while you’re waiting for that cable show offer, how about just sticking to the script and telling everyone when you’ve turned the seat belt light on or off and when we might be able to look out the left window to see the Great Lakes. And while you’re on Auto Pilot, check out Sid’s regular season stats (even injured) and how they compare to any Bruin stats, Ya Jagoff!!


Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.