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DAILY JAGOFF BLAWG

Was There a Dog On the Hockey Bench?

YaJagoff.com Jagoff Podcast

And that’s not JUST a hockey bench! It’s a kids’ recreational hockey dek bench. Kids play there every night of the week.  Just to be sure.. what you see is.. dog poop dragged all around the the hockey team’ bench… .like, WHERE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO … SIT! It’s at Team Pitt Dek Hockey in Brighton Heights!

Hey Mr. Doo-doo-drop Inn!  Bettin’ that you’re one of those that, when you get caught, you say, “Oh my GOSH!!!  I swear I had one of those bags in my pocket when I left the house!” And by the way, who in theeeeee hell makes their dog poop on a wooden bench?  No class if you don’t give’em some GRASS!!

Here’s what we think, if you’re caught, the penalty phase should include walking all of the dogs at the Humane Society and Animal Rescue League Shelter, every day for one week…but you have to walk behind them with your bare hand at their bottom ready to catch the droppings!

But wait!  We still have to worry about how you’ll learn to keep the neighborhood clean sooooooo..we think your punishment should also include you working a Friday and Saturday early morning where you have to walk up and down both sides of Carson Street and EAT every small token of dropped food that you find on the ground.  (And you don’t get any beverages to wash it down!)

Finally, we’re gonna figure out where YOU live.  And then we’re gonna walk our pet COW by your house, right after we fed her Taco Bell, 4 Mike and Tony’s gyros, 8 trays of Chicken-on-a-Stick,  and 12 Primanti Sandwiches.  Hoping that you know how to activate the local hazmat crews, Ya Jagoff!!!!

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