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DAILY JAGOFF BLAWG

Toilet Paper Jagoffery.. Scott TP is AWFUL

YaJagoff Blog and Podcast

Who knew that we could be so particular about toilet paper on this blog?  Well, when it comes to Scott TP… we have as more anger than being stuck behind an Ohio driver in the fast lane of Greentree hill, who is behind a coal truck, which is behind an extra-wide, extra-slow construction vehicle, which is behind a 91 year-old driver talking on a flip-phone with a puppy on their lap and their 4-ways on!

For some reason, I always thought that Scott toilet paper was a name brand.. an excellent representation of what TP is s’posed to be. It’s a name brand for gawd sakes.  Sooooooo.. I bought the Sam’s Club 1,898,321 pack of Scott’s TP.

Well… it’s awful.  It’s thinner than O.J. Simpson’s alibi! (How’s that for a timeless reference!) not to get too personal but, ya kind have have to use an entire role to make sure ya DON’T have the situation well in hand!

The packaging on the TP says, “1 roll lasts more than 1 week.”

Of course 1 roll lasts more than 1 week. You wanna know why?  Because.. once you realize you have Scott’s TP.. you NEVER want use it. So the thing just sits there.

Scott.. could ya double a roll or something so that it doesn’t disintegrate upon touching skin? We’d be happy to sign a petition to let you cut down more trees if ya need to!  For gawd sakes, I’d rather use Dollar Store Christmas Wrapping paper in the bathroom, YaJagoffs!

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