You know, “That Guy” that ALWAYS “goes” on company time and stinks up the place with NO SHAME whatsoever? We came accross one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was God Awful.
And we don’t understand this cuz we’re not able to take care of that issue in public places if you know what we mean!!! Are you one of those thatâs able to take care of olâ body function âNumber 2â at your work place? We canât cuz we can’t stand POTENTIALLY being identified as “THAT GUY” that left the restroom stinky.
Due to this raging restroom paranoia of ours, we actually came up with a plan for emergency bowel issues while you’re at work: a secret set of âpoop shoesâ â a special pair of shoes that you smuggle into the bathroom and use for those times when you just HAVE to go while at work.
Think of it, the last time when you went to a bathroom, ladies or guys, and it smelled, you probably could see the culprit’s shoes under the stall AND INSTANTLY RECOGINZED who in the workplace needed to eat some potpourri.
With the âpoop shoesâ nobody will know itâs YOU in the stall! Simply smuggle the pair of âpoop shoesâ into the bathroom when nature calls. Quickly slip on the âpoop shoesâ before you sit down then let âer rip! When someone comes into the restroom and hears you writhing in pain or your bellowing âgas echoâ and looks under the stall to see âwho dat?â they will see your âpoop shoes.â (HINT: this doesnât work if you wear one-of-a-kind argyle socks.) When the mission is complete, you simply exit the stall while the restroom is empty â put your REAL shoes back on and smuggle your âpoop shoesâ back to your office or cubicle.
Genious, huh???
Ok.. back to “Willie The Waste Management Work-Time Waster.” First, for the record, the pic above is SIMULATED cuz even WE don’t take pics in a bathroom!  Secondly, hey “Willie The Waste Management Work-Time Waster” who sat in the bathroom until his legs were probably asleep and left the toilet with more skid marks than runway 2-9 Right at the Pittsburgh airport has and left the place smellinâ worse then a Snookie gynecology appointment. …. how about a COURTESY FLUSH, Ya Jagoff????????
If you’re new to this blog, check out our OTHER “Work Jagoffs” HERE and maybe this will spark YOU to catch a workplace Jagoff!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
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