Let’s play a game called.. “who parked here first?”
There I am and there is sick-Rach in the passenger side. We were on our way to a meeting and made a quick stop for some booger-rags ..the expensive kind.. with lotion.
Do you think I parked that close to the car on the right or do you think the car on the right came in hot and had zero regard for where she parked?
It’s rhetorical of course because, on the other side of the car on the right is enough space to land a jet.. not another car in sight!
I’m thinking the driver of the car on the right needs to be reminded that those white painted thingies on the surface of the parking are more than just parallel line segments created by the local middle school kids on a recent âgeometry-in-actionâ field trip. (As a geometry refresher, they would be called âraysâ if they had arrows on one end.)
Hey Slim-Jane (haaaaa like that one??)âŠ. seriously?  Youâre parked soooo close to my car that, if your car was a dog, weâd be throwing cold water on it!  After you parked, were you actually able to reach out your passenger side window and grab the loose change out of MY car? (You’re lucky you didn’t.. sick-Rach would have stabbed your hand with a free bank pen!)
Thanks to your head-up-your-ARSE parking method, I went back into the CVS, put on my skinniest skinny jeans, 2 pair of SPANX, sucked in my gut as if I had been on a hunger strike for the last 1,201 days and envisioned myself as the new Transformer character named âHanger,â and was able to get in my car! Thanks for the parking courtesy, Ya Jagoff!!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
