It’s been a while since we had a “guest blog.” This is a perfect one!!!!!
Try not to spit liquids or pee while you are reading!
By James J. Hamilton (Pittsburgh Comedian)
If you’ve been in a bar bathroom recently, you may have seen the poster for Pennsylvania’s new sober driving campaign. You may have noticed that their new slogan is “Just Drive.” Because what says caution and responsibility more than “Just Drive”? Are they serious? Consider the series of bonehead decisions that had to be made for that poster to end up on the bar bathroom wall. This was somebody’s job—an advertising professional whose job it was to come up with the best sober driving campaign possible. He probably kicked around a bunch of slogans, but somehow felt “Just Drive” was the one. And this guy has a boss whose job it is to make sure what the first guy comes up with is good, or at least not embarrassingly moronic. And the boss sees “Just Drive” and says “Brilliant!” And these guys had to pitch this idea to PennDOT, and the PennDOT people see “Just Drive” and say “Perfect! That’s just what we’re looking for!” Are you kidding me? If this was the best slogan they could come up with, what they leave on the cutting room floor? I can guess:
How drunk are you, really?
It’s not that far. Think you can make it?
Cabs are expensive.
You can’t just leave your car here.
Screw it.
“Just Drive” is the last step in a thought process that leads to a decision to drive drunk. You know all the reasons why you shouldn’t, but in the end you just drive. The sober driving campaign is supposed to be designed to convince you otherwise. But nowadays, when it’s closing time and you’re wondering how you’re going to get home, you’ll remember what the poster on the bathroom wall said: “Just Drive.” Yeah, it might have said “Safe and Sober” underneath, but that was in a really small font size and it was kinda blurry considering how much you drank so you didn’t notice it. So when the time comes, forget about PennDOT’s bonehead advertising campaign and DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE, ya jagoffs!
You can follow James J. Hamilton on Twitter and his own blog HERE
but also follow the website Pittsburgh Comedy to see when he and other comedians
will be performing live.
“Your phone’s ringing, Ya Jagoff!” Free Ring Tones
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