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What Aggravates Me John Knight

I’m Not an Idiot!

Welcome to our regular Saturday feature “What Aggravates Me”

We were doing the podcast from “Burger Bash” at South Side Works last Saturday. Bobby Dee’s should have won by the way. If you are not familiar with them, they are located in Kennedy Plaza in McKees Rocks. Yeah, I Know, you say I’m just being a homer. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was born and raised in “The Rox.”

It’s just the fact they had the best burgers. The line to get one of their samples was at least 50 deep. The place that won, which shall remain nameless, had no line. They were standing there practically begging people to take one of their samples. In fact they threw one at me and it hit me in the face. I didn’t even want it. I think there was some payoffs going on in the judging.

If you don’t know who the winner was, I can’t tell you. Let’s just say their stand was behind a “Rock” and a “Hard” place…c’mon, I’m practically spoon feeding you here.

Anyway, we had wrapped up the podcast and I had ordered a pizza. Since I was coming from South Side, I told my wife I would pick up a pizza from Pasquarelli’s in McKees Rocks. The best pizza I have ever had. Again I’m not being a homer. I guess we just do things better in “The Rox.” If you’ve never had it, you can’t say anything. Try it and vote for it on one of the polls that are running during “National Pizza Month.”

Maybe you’re unaware that it’s “National Pizza Month.” If you’ve been in a store lately, you probably think its “National we can’t decide if it’s going to be Halloween or Christmas Month.” There’s just something wrong seeing Halloween candy in the middle of Christmas trees. Not to mention skeletons and witches hovering over the Nativity.

Maybe we can just combine all of the fall and winter holidays into one day and get them over with. We can stuff ourselves full of turkey and then pass out candy to children that really don’t want it because they just had a big dinner. After that we can light the tree, exchange gifts and then drink until we watch the ball drop at midnight.

We can do the same in the spring. Although mixing St. Patrick’s Day with Valentines and Easter will lead to some nasty breakups, not to mention those ugly incidents at church.

I’ve gotten off the subject here. What happened was as I was just about to leave the South Side, I pulled my IPhone from my pocket and it was acting strange. Any app I tried to touch would be surrounded by a square and a mousy voice would tell me what it was.

Nobody knew what was going on with it.

“I’ve never seen one do that before.” Was the consensus.

I couldn’t really get it to work right. I wouldn’t be able to use my phone. Looking at my phone is what I do that most annoys my wife. If I can’t annoy my wife, what’s the use of going home? I made the decision that after I picked up the pizza I would go to the Verizon store.

It was getting near closing time and I would have to hurry. I knew I was in big trouble. If nobody from the podcast could understand what my phone was doing, it must be really bad. I knew that it was a bad virus of some sort. I was going to get there late, but hopefully somebody at the store would be willing to work late to try and figure this mess out.

I was hoping it could be saved and I wouldn’t have to shell out a thousand bucks for the new IPhone. Yeah I know, you don’t have to get the new model, but you do. Maybe if I left it overnight, a team of technicians could work together and try to save my phone.

I entered the store five minutes before closing. The guy behind the counter could see the panic on my face.

“What’s the problem?”

I showed him my phone and expected him to be dumbfounded.

“Hit the button three times.”

I did what he said and it was cured. Now I felt like a moron.

“You had on the feature for the sight impaired.”

“Why would the sight impaired need Google maps?”

“That’s on your phone. Besides, it can also give you walking directions.”

Speaking of walking, I felt like a complete idiot as I slumped out of the store. Then I realized,

“Hey, at least I can go home and annoy my wife.”

Follow John on Twitter @jknight841

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