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Airport Jagoffs

For the Eleventieth-Thousand Time, The Airport Rules About Guns!

Yesterday, WPXI ran a story about how twice in 3 days, loaded guns were confiscated. Now, we have all had that sitch when we forget to put our cell phones on vibrate in a public place. There’s a little bit of embarrassment and then ya move on. A gun at the airport? Slightly more than a little public embarrassment results.

This leads to one of my biggest pet peeves of airport traveling.  People who know they are going to an airport where the security routine, which has been in place for greater than 10 years, requires you to remove your belt, everything out of our pockets aaaaaaaaaand, say it with me, YOUR SHOES!

AUTHOR’S NOTE:  We’re coming up on Summer travel when peeps forget about putting SOCKS ON to COVER THEIR FRITO-LENGTH AND COLORED TOENAILS AND BUNIONS.

Despite these rules being in place for more than 10 years, people still wear layers of clothing, fashion belts and bracelets and fashion shoes that have laces that tie almost up to their Adam’s Apple.  So they take 10 minutes to undress in line and, some, no matter how many times they are told “place laptop in a separate bin,” put their shoes on top of their computer in the scanning bin.

What part of knowing that you have to remove all of this stuff in front of a line of people and security agents did ya forget when you were taking your pre-travel fashion selfie in the full-lengthy “I love myself” mirror at home?

Perhaps we need to recommend standard issue traveling clothing…like prisons.  THAT would certainly speed up the security lines.  If you’re going someplace warm, you get gym shorts, t-shirt and sandals (the bunion. knuckle-toed and frit0-toenail people would be required to have their feet covered.)  If you’re going someplace cold, you get a standard issue Carhartt jackets.

Seriously what part of You-can’t-bring-knives-guns-or-other-weapons-or-things-LIKE-weapons-and-ya-have-to-strip-to-half-naked-so-don’t-wear-complicated-clothing-to-the-airport-security-line do you NOT understand?

Traveling tip: If ya wanna dress like a fashion plate, pack all of your bracelets, belts and snappy, impractical traveling clothes in your carry-on bag then go put it on in the restroom AFTER you go through security.  You know, like you did in high school when you would dress a certain way on a weekend night to get by your parents and then AFTER you’re outta the house, you put on your “Hey look how HAWT I am please pick me up” clothing, Ya Jagoffs!

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