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DAILY JAGOFF BLAWG

“Fake Wheelchair” Bank Robber Sentenced

he man who attempted to rob the First National Bank on the South Side two summers ago while using a wheelchair as a prop has been sentenced to prison time.

The man who attempted to rob the First National Bank on the South Side two summers ago while using a wheelchair as a prop has been sentenced to prison time. (See full story on KDKA-TV)

In case you don’t want to read the story, here’s the summary:

  • Attempted to rob a bank in a wheel chair saying he had a bomb.
  • He left before getting any loot.
  • He rode the wheelchair to a bus stop.
  • Left the wheelchair behind and got on a bus as his getaway vehicle.

Lottsa dumb criminal material here.   We’d have to think that even the new Pittsburgh scooters or even the Turnpike Ride at Kennywood park would be a better/faster choice than a Port Authority bus as a getaway car.

 

And, taking advantage of a wheelchair bound individual?  Perhaps part of his sentence should be learning a little empathy for wheelchair bound patients. .  On the last week of your sentence, someone who has to live in a wheelchair gets to choose 1 challenge project for you each day, such as, feeding you a Five Guys bacon/cheeseburger and fries and 10 bran muffins then detaining you from getting to the bathroom until your colon gets to the “Defcon 5” stage then telling you that the ONLY available restroom is the one on the 40th floor of the Cathedral of Learning.  That would make the previous 45 months and 3 weeks seem like a cinch, Ya Jagoff!

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