Whoooopsies! A Butler County woman wondered into the wrong house, which she ALLEGEDLY accessed through an unlocked window, and ate a bowl of cereal. The home owner was startled when Butler Goldilocks wandered into her room eating Fruity Pebbles so she called the po-po.
(See full story on KDKA-TV)
This leads me to a story:
Once upon a time, there was a wondering woman…GoldiLAWKS (the Pittsburgh Goldilocks).. in Butler County. She was a little confused and tried one house’s window, but couldn’t get in. Then tried another house’s window and, completely forgetting that people NORMALLY access houses through a door, climbed into the window and…
At the table in the kitchen, there were three plates of Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad. GoldiLAWKS was ALLEGEDLY hungry. She tasted the Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad from the first Styrofoam picnic plate.
“This Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad is too hot!”
So, she tasted the Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad from the second Styrofoam picnic plate.
“This Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad is too cold.”
So, she ALLEGEDLY tasted the last Styrofoam picnic plate of Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad.
“Ahhh, this Strawberry-Pretzel-Pittsburgh-Jello Salad is just right,” and she ALLEGEDLY ate it all up.
(Homeowner to 911) “Someone’s been eating cereal in my house and she’s still HERE!”
Soon after, the cops came, and woke GoldiLAWKS. She was placed into a police car and a jail cell where she’s probably not near as comfortable sleeping as she was on the strange bed.
GoldiLAWKS, you know those beeper things that people use to locate their car and house keys? You can endorse one to locate your entire HOUSE… YaJagoff!
