I have “issues” with taking a sit-down in public restrooms. I am no primadonna. I just have issues and, when the need arises on a roadtrip, I have to seek out a clean, name brand hotel for a bathroom stop.
The other day, I went to the bathroom at a hotel while traveling. It had an automatic light activator- turns on lights with movement. This sounds like a good invention, unless you are a guy like me that uses your quiet time in the bathroom to get caught up on emails, twitter #ff’s and blog readings.
So I took a sitdown in this single toilet, Holiday Inn bathroom on this particular day. There I was reading my twitter account and BOOM BOOM! Out go the lights!
It took me a minute in the total to blackness to figure out what happened. I then waived my hands in the air and, there ya go, the lights come on. BUT, the bathroom was soooo small that my hand movement also activated automatic towel dispenser!!!! So the lights were on, and now I had towels waiting for me.
As I continued reading my smart phone, the lights went out again and again, and again from the lack of movement. I waived my hands in the air each time, on came the lights and out came more paper towels.
After a while I thought I was actually being “jagged!“
Hey Holiday Inn bathroom light sensor, I don’t know ANYONE that break dances while they are going #2, and I am PERSONALLY not comfortable doing arm windmills during the process either – take a valium and relax, your off-and-on nonsense is burning more killowats than me sitting on the toilet- until my legs go numb- with the light on steady for 25 minutes, Ya JAGOFF!!
If by chance you find a YouTube video of a guy sitting on a toilet, reading his smart phone, going in and out of total darkness and bright lights while he’s sitting with his suit pants down around his ankles and intermittently waiving his hands, please let me know!!!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
Didn’t your mother tell you setting for long periods on the toliet can give you hemorrhoid’s??
I am wiping tears of laughter away! I hate public bathrooms! I’m sharing this. I was impressed with automatic flushing toilets, soap, sink, and automatic dryers…then…I have to grab a handle or door knob to PULL, NOT PUSH the door open! WTF!? And how about the automatic papertowel dispenser that gives you about 2-3 inches of paper towels? I am pissed by the time I leave a bathroom!