What is happening? The Pens couldn’t keep Ovie and the Caps outta the NHL playoff race. So, we passed them on to, what seemed to be, a very capable Tampa Bay Lightning.
But now, the Caps are playing strong and are up 2-0. They seem to be focused and on an anti-Sid/Mario mission!
In case you haven’t done the math, the hated Ovie-Jagoff is 2 wins away from a Stanley Cup Final and 6 wins away from touching that doggone blessed piece of metal.
Dude! I even went to church, yesterday, and prayed for all of the right things… like.. not the usuals such as a winning lottery ticket or for someone to offer me $40M for a buyout of this blog. But these Chris Kunitz led TB Lightning are causing me stress.
Hey Tampa Bay… we don’t care if you win the Cup or not but you HAVE to pop Ovie’s emotional balloon on this series, The entire Penguin’s constituency would purchase the pay-per-view rights to see him completely spaz.. like.. Being-behind-an-Ohio-driver-in-the-fast-lane-on-the-parkway-and-I’m-45-minutes-late-for-a-meeting-and-that-Ohio-driver-just-ate-at-Primanti’s-and-requested-fries-on-the-side-and-hold-the-cole-slaw-and-stepped-on-a-terrible-towel-in-the-mud-break-multiple-goalie-sticks-over-the-boards level of SPAZ. And watching that would make us ALL feel soooooo goooood about not being in the finals!
So, Lightning.. PALEEEEEZE get your @#$@ together (like we couldn’t). We need YOU to pop the Ovie Emotional Balloon, Ya Jagoffs!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
