“Irate” in the WPXI story is defined as beating the other guy up and ransacking his home.
Thomas, Thomas, Thomas….seriously?
If this was a story where the other guy had eaten that one, little, crunchy, very last Micky D’s french fry chip thingy at the bottom of the bag, I could see the anger. No jury of french fry eating peers would ever convict you. Just be sure they are not Burger King french fry eaters.. because those people have zero taste in french fry choices and would not be able to empathize.
Thomas, you thought that you should punish him for eating 3 Big Macs? Don’t you think that the 2-day long “natural” colonoscopy that would result from eating 3 Big Macs would be more than enough of a beating or punishment? I mean, if you’d have just force-fed him some jalapeno, or better yet, ghost peppers, that would have been as close to legal capital punishment as you could get once his body started “cleansing” as a result of downing 3 Big Macs for gawd sakes!
Now YOUR going to jail and its YOUR butt that’s gonna hurt, Ya Jagoff!
This is a picture of the snack shelf in our kitchen cupboard.
What you see here is either the work of very smart rats that know how to work chip-clips OR family members that have a complete lack of respect for a sudden, late night, crunchy/salt craving.
There I am…watching the Pirates sinking to the LA Dodgers, 5-1 Sunday night. Just before I could turn the TV off, actually not off but switch the TV channel to see the weather before I went to bed (that phrase makes me sound JUST like my parents), the Pirates started making a comeback in the 7th inning. After the score got to 5-3, I got the anxious munchies. I needed salt and crunch so I headed to the snack cupboard and this is what I found.
So now I’m desperate…stale/salty does not satiate a crunchy/salt craving. In the meantime, the Pirates are scoring run after run…things are getting more and more exciting… and I’ve got nuthin. There’s not even one of those small double packet of restaurant saltines.
The angst and excitement was too much for me. Everything after that was lost in a euphoric haze…no recollection whatsover… but, what I do know, after we Raised the Jolly Roger for the Bucs 12-6 win, I realized that I had been eating stale ruffled potato chips, ON CARROTS!
Can someone PALEEEEEEEZE learn to use one of the 769 free chip-clips from one the local chiropractors, insurance agents and hospitals that are in our silverware drawer OR one of the 10-12 black, triangular paperclip thingies, that we “borrowed” from work over the years, so that when a person in the house has a late-night crunchy/salt craving they can get a little satisfaction……..Ya….. Jaaaaaaagoffs?
Writer’s Note: Take it from personal experience… do not try to put stale potato chips and/or honey pretzels in the toaster oven to re-crispen them…the smoke alarm is loud and the confusion makes you miss some of the ballgame!