Aggressive “Drivers” Drop the Golf Gloves

YJ-AngryGolf

This is one of those stories where you’re not sure if it came from Florida or Fayette County.  Unfortunately, this one is from Fayette County and it has made the national news.

A 42 year old guy and a 63 year old guy were golfing at Springdale Golf Course in South Union Township on Sunday of all days… a day of peace! They started to argue about some water hazard stuff on the 5th hole and, by the 7th hole, they were going all “Mrs. Tiger Woods” on each other ALLEGEDLY.

See story on KDKA.com

So to sum it up, these guys got T’d off at each other. Now there’s a wedge between their friendship.  No word on if one said something to the other about their old bags however, they did get to a point where there was some serious clubbing going down. Now it appears as if their friendship is hitting a rough patch.

Boys…golf is supposed to be a gentleman’s game but, then again, maybe hip checks would finally add some excitement to the Sunday afternoon golf matches.  Every golfer could be allotted one hip check to use on a tee and a green during any given match. Just make sure you don’t leave your cleats on the check.  That would be a two-minute charging penalty.

Better go back to hitting through the windmills and over the waterfalls at the local putt-putt course cuz your conduct is unbecoming of a golfer… but.. it may also be PAR for Fayette County!  Thanks for embarrassing the rest of us in the national news.  We hear that John Daly wants you on his ProAM MMA golf tour, Ya Jagoffs!

A Police Car- Might Be the Wrong Car to ALLEGEDLY Hijack

YJ-Ria

I almost missed this story.  I heard it on WPXI as I was getting out of the shower, knew it was perfect, but had nothing with which to make a note.  Thankfully I was able to get a memory refresher from WPXI.com and every other “Dumb Criminal” news website around the country.  I have now purchased Crayola Bath Tub markers (64 pack) to make sure I never am without the ability to take a note!

So you’ve seen the Sears Optical TV commercial where the lady jumps into a police car mistaking it for a taxi, RIGHT?  (Click the video below to see the commercial if you need a refresher.)

Well, in a “real-life-imitates-TV-commercial” story,  a woman in the Strip District jumped in a car to drive it, ALLEGEDLY, to where her own car was.  The bad news is, the car was an unmarked police car.  The even MORE bad news is, there were two undercover police officers sitting in it.

You will also be shocked to find out that this woman ALLEGEDLY smelled of alcohol.

See WPXI story HERE.

No word on if the woman had mistaken it as an UberCar or a Lyft vehicle.    Also no word on if the undercover police car  lured her in with a fake “lyft-like” mustache on its bumper!

Hey Ria-ria-mamma-mia, good to hear that there was nothing in the police report about you cracking yourself up, in the “borrowed car” with all of your “I’m-glad-those-stupid-donut-eaters-didn’t-catch-me” stories!!!  That could have gotten ugly.

Fortunately his thing has an easy fix.  First,  slow down the drinking to a point where you’re just trying sweet talk a taxi driver into hitching a free ride.  Second, and this one is REALLY novel, don’t try to drive ANY car while you’re ALLEGEDLY smacked up with I’m-all-hotted-up-for-a-big-weekend-night-out fu-fu drinks, Ya Jagoff!

Video: 2014 Pittsburgh Regatta “Parking Chair”

On July 4th, the “Floating Parking Chair” (#FloatingParkingChair on Twitter) embarked on it’s journey to win the Pittsburgh 3 Rivers Regatta “Anything That Floats Race.”  Some bystanders had reported that we had come in 7th out of 20-plus boats (unverified by Dewey, Cheatem, and How CPAs).

As you can see from the video, we didn’t win but we didn’t sink or drown!  The photo above is very Lewis-and-Clark-ish.  It’s perfect.

Thanks to Amanda from BoldPittsburgh for the video.

No prize money for the  Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation on this outing but you can feel free to find out more about the organization or donate by going here.

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George Dudash on his 2002 flip phone