Mad That the Pens Lost to Philly on Easter

 

yj-EasterHam2So, if you’re Catholic, you went to mass in the morning and talked about Jesus Christ.  And then, ya went home, maybe checked over some Easter baskets, ate a few hard-boiled eggs and then maybe settled in with family for a day of family picture-taking and Penguins hockey on NBC at a prime afternoon time…… and THEN  talked about “Jeezus H Christ” as the Pens proceeded to lose for the 8th time this seasons to the Flyers.

I posted this on Twitter before the game:

Remember those days when you were all excited that the were playing the and you trashed talked all day on twitter?

Well.. by now you know what the results of the game are and, if you ate too many hard boiled eggs yesterday as a stress-eater during the game, those things are probably giving you gas at work today so you’re strategizing on how to take more breaks than a chain smoker preparing to go cold turkey.

Hopefully you’re not at Best Buy getting a new TV or home picking glass shards out of your ham leftovers.

Me, I was up at 4:30am this morning to hit the road and, quite frankly, I haven’t pulled myself together from the Pens situation yet.

So let’s just do this.

I Hope to see some of you at the Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown Pittsburgh, this Saturday night (April 11th) at 10pm.

Yeah, some of you, like me, are gonna need a nap that afternoon but, we are going to have some fun.  I’ll be reading some of the stories from my “Above the Fries” book and then some people, who are actually FUNNY, are going to do improv based on those topics. It’s only $10 to get in and it’s BYOB.  Go here to get tickets –> (Choose the Late Owl Hootenanny)

HootenannyBook

 

Leave some thoughts about the Pens or the book!  Comments before 11:59pm Eastern Time will be eligible to win 2 free tickets to Saturday’s Hootenanny.

 

 

Yakkin’ With YaJagoff – Wounded Warrior Corn Hole Tourny

It’s NOT Wednesday but STILL time for a Yakkin’ video.
(Please Share This Post….and plan on coming to the event.)

We are yakkin with Jeff Hancher of Cintas and Ed Sickmund of MyWay Mobile Storage

about the upcoming Wounded Warrior Corn Hole Tournament,

May 1st, at the Robert Morris University golf bubble and the corn hole sack picker-upper.

Cornhole_2015

To register, contact Lori Seekely at:

Warriorproj1@gmail.com or 724.825.2524.

April Fools Day – A (Mostly) Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

YJ-AprilFools2015

Today’s post comes from Erin Rachelle Kelly of the “Oh Honestly Erin.”  

It’s part of a day of shenanigans from other Pittsburgh Bloggers.

You can see my post over on Douglas Derda’s “My Blog n’at.”  Hint: I bought a “3D Printer”

Fred pulled back the kitchen curtains and took in the typical Pittsburgh sky: sunlight struggling to be seen through clouds in varying states of precipitation.

“It’s another beautiful day in Pittsburgh,” he smiled. A note clinging to his fridge against the weight of a Steelers magnet reminded him that he needed to buy more pierogis and pop, but first he was having breakfast with his best friend, Mr. McFeely.

Mr. McFeely was already waiting at a table when Fred arrived at Pamela’s later that morning.

“Fred, we picked a bad day to come here,” he spat sourly. “The place is full of kinderdicks!”

A cursory scan of the breakfast hot spot taught Fred that there were indeed many small children communicating their feelings in the cacophonic volume of basic banshees.

“Mr. McFeely, these children are the future Heinz laborers! The next Sophie Masloffs and Michael Keatons! They deserve to be here, eating potatoes lyonnaise, just as much as you and I.” Fred beamed happily, tucking a napkin into his cardigan.

“Fred,” Mr. McFeely sighed, “you are a good man.”

“I just really love everyone in my neighborhood,” Fred modestly waved off the compliment.

***

On the way to Giant Eagle later that afternoon, Fred’s car hit a pothole the size of Ben Roesthlisberger’s ego, splashing his Schneider’s iced tea into his lap. Fred shook his head and chuckled. “Maybe I should have taken the trolley!”

In Giant Eagle, Fred considered buying a pound of Isaly’s chipped ham but remembered he had 9 pounds of it in his freezer already.

“Will this be all for today?” the young, disinterested cashier asked Fred at the check-out.

“Yes dear, just came here for some pierogis and pop,” Fred answered, his avuncular smile causing crinkles to spread from his eyes.

“It’s soda,” she corrected him, making it clear she was one of those endearing transplants, here to attend college while constantly disputing the vernacular.

Fred took the bag from her outstretched hand, politely wishing her well while laughing softly to himself. He knew she would be calling it pop in no time.

***

When Fred arrived home that evening after a full day of tooling around town, some of the neighborhood children were playing a rousing game of Release. The playing field had spilled into his yard, but Fred didn’t mind; children were his favorite types of people. Especially Pittsburgh children. Fred paused outside of his front door, smiling lazily at the sounds of prepubescent caterwauls and urban swears while casually sliding the gum band off of the stack of mail that arrived that day. His eyes had just fallen on an ad in the Pennysaver for the Immaculate Heart of Mary fish fry when his periphery caught a flash of something that made him involuntarily dry-heave.

It was a putrid color, the wash of ear wax.

The chroma of Cheetos’d fingertips.

The tint of Carrot Top’s unruly follicular chapeau.

The stain of Snooki’s skin after a summer at the Jersey Shore.

Fred felt the color drain from his face. His heart began thrumming against his ribcage and something of an unfamiliar feeling began rising up from his gut. It was a feeling he felt only thrice in his life:

  • Once, when he was inspired to make his own crayons after airing a tour of the Crayola factory on his show, which resulted in him spilling hot wax all over his favorite cardigan.
  • Once, when he came home after a particularly long day to find that someone had chucked his Pittsburgh parking chair onto the grass and brutally thieved his rightful parking spot.
  • Once, when Lady Elaine Fairchild arrived to work drunk.

The orange flash was a Philadelphia Flyers jersey. On a child.

The feeling Fred felt was pure, unadulterated black and gold fury.

Shaking the Pennysaver—now rolled-up into a Flyers-fan beating apparatus—into the air, Fred hollered, “Get off my lawn, ya jagoff!”

 

Here’s a list of other April Fools’ Day Blog Participants

Go read them all.. there will be a test later.

The AP Collection

Lucy Quin

A Body of One’s Own

Oh Honestly, Erin

My Blog n’at

Josh’s World

Pennies, Pints, Pittsburgh

Beezus Kiddo

The Wheezy Runner

Lunges, Long Runs and Lattes

Sole for the Soul

Gardening in High Heels

The Fashionable Eye

The Steel Trap

30-Something therapy

Pittsburgh Happy Hour

Pittsburgh is Beautiful

Downtown Living

Crank Crank Revolution

Sean’s Ramblings

jelly jars

In Pursuit of Happiness

Red Pen Mama

Orange Chair Blog

Last Minute Panic

Emily Levenson

The Pittsburgh Mommy Blog

Pittsburgh Taste Buds

Don’t Forget to Eat

101 Achievements

Nicky D. Cooks

In Pursuit of Simple

The Almond Eater

Parmesan Princess

Yum Yum PGH

The Foodtasters

Small Town Dad

A Librarian’s Lists and Letters

everybody loves you…