Home Run Derby Jagoff

 

yj-berman

Last night we had our high hopes for the Home Run Derby…

We wanted Chris Berman to get laryngitis.  My wish didn’t work out very well and I even made a wish by tossing money into the refurbished fountain at Point State Park!   Had I known that the costs of wishes had inflated faster than the Tooth Fairy’s standard rate (which is now like $5 per tooth), I would have been sure to toss enough coins in that thing so that it reflected the sunlight at airplanes.

His phony excitement  on every Home Run last night, screaming like it was the  five-year-old’s FIRST home run in the bottom of the 9th, with 2 outs in the seventh game of the T-ball world series…. the hit that got the entire team Fifty-Cents more than the OTHER team at the refreshment stand… outweighed his awful “I wish I was Hulk Hogan” hair do.

Every almost-home-run AND home run… the same yelling and excitement… “back, back, back….” clucking like a chicken.

Hey Chris…just in case you didn’t know…. this was a Home RundDerby… which means they’re ALL s’posed to be home runs, no big surprise….so SHUT THEEEEEEE HELL UP, Ya Jagoff!!

 

NOTE: Not sure about you but I was ready to ask for Cris Collinsworth to come in and do the announcing.  (O.K. maybe not THAT desperate!)

 

 

This Guy Needs a Friend With an 18-Wheeler

YJ-Lumber

Well… everyone in Western Pa seems to be no more than 3 steps removed from a “buddy with a pickup.”  Not sure if these people borrowed the wrong sized truck or, if they are the people with the truck and just didn’t know of anyone with a 12-person cargo van.  Either way, looks like they should have sprung for the few bucks for delivery.

This was the simple tweet that accompanied the pic on Twitter:

Am I wrong?!

In my humble opinionated opinion… NOPE!

I mean, ya got the ultra-mega crew cab, the crew-crew cab, the cap with the bay windows, maybe even one of those special electronic horns that plays 25 notes of “La Cucaracha,” and it STILL ain’t enough truck…at least that’s the way it appears to the rest of us!!

I’m pretty sure that a normal person would look at that and say, “hmmmmmm.. that ain’t looking too good.” Because you know, sure as s#%t, that, with a few bounces over some potholes, the back end of that lumber is gonna be bouncing those red ribbons more than a light-weight teenager on Kennywood’s Jack Rabbit.

I mean… seriously… rent the $35 delivery truck, Ya Jagoff!

 

Thanks to @TeenyC87 for being the Honorary Jagoff Catcher!