Road Construction Jagoffs

Pittsburgh Road Construction Jagoffs

YJ-ConstructionCzar

Ok, so we all know that our roads need regular maintenance.  And before anyone gets nuts, and goes all Luke-Ravenstahl-At-The-Trib on us, YES, it is understood that road construction needs to be done.. otherwise we would be calling out the politicians for not fixing the roads.  BUT…………. Does anyone actually talk to anyone else on these construction projects other than the two people with the walkie-talkies holding the SLOW/STOP switch-a-roonie signs?

Is there some GRAND POO-BA of Road Construction?  If not, WE WANT NOMINATED!!!  What’s that old phrase about “the right hand knowing what the left hand is doing?

Vin’s Facebook post above then had THIS comment added to it:

Mary McAnallen Sure! And then lets put traffic cones up for places we think we’ll get to but may not just incase we have time to do them at a later date, thereby blocking all supply lines!

(Haaaaa.. SNORT…. HAaaaaa… pee trickle… snort.. HAAaaa)

Here’s a sample of what some of the road construction updates seem to look like these days:

I-279 North Closed and Construction on Route 19

Liberty Tubes Closed and Construction All Over Route 51

West Carson Street Closed and Construction on Route 65

Things that are open:

That one alley in Sharpsburg that goes behind where the pizza place that used to be the donuts place is.

A one-way alley in Baldwin that, gets back-ups on Monday because the one-manned-garbage truck goes through and we watch the driver get in and out at every house to throw garbage in the back.

A few country roads in the Oakdale area that, thank God, are back to NORMAL after being slicker-than-hell from being “Oiled and Chipped”

All that I know is there is a true need for a regional Road-Construction-Head-Honcho-Son-of-A-Betcha-Thought-I-Was-Gonna-Say-Something-Else position and I nominate myself for the position!

All that I ask for, in return is that every construction project be submitted to me, in an 8-part form, 18 months in advance of commencing the work, signed by at least 7 engineers, approved by THEIR bosses and a PDF of sample road signage that will be used so that I can make sure that the signage is aesthetically pleasing to the stressed driving public!

Oh yeah, and I ALSO want a universal walkie-talkie that can communicate to any sign-turner in the area so that, when I’M in traffic so I can call ahead and tell them to turn SLOW in my direction!!!

In summary, do any road construction bosses know that there are things called SCHEDULES and that there is this awesome SHARING CALENDAR system called GOOGLE CALENDAR where everyone can coordinate schedules??  Somebody PALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE call somebody to coordinate these road construction projects, YA JAGOFFS!

 

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Yep! This IS INDEED A Painted Racoon!

This is why we love our fans! Not only are they the BEST FANS IN THE WORLD (golf clap) but they’re Jagoff Catchers too..always watching out for blog topics!

This scenario occurred in Johnstown (go Mountain Cats!) No! It’s not a faked Photoshop thing.

A PennDot crew was painting new lines on the road (lines for Jagoffs to ignore). And so it goes, the PennDot crew did not have enough time to stop the painting process and…let’s just say there was a bump in the road (for the full story click here).

Well PennDot was quick to cover up their tracks (badoomp tisshh). An engineer from PennDot said that a foreman vehicle usually travels in front of the painting vehicle and clears obstructions from the road. The foreman vehicle wasn’t there that day which resulted in Rocky Raccoon getting a little more than a mani and a pedi.

If this doesn’t scream Bambi Spinoff, we don’t know what does? But the pic is certainly a SPOILER ALERT on that movie!

Here’s what WE think…the PennDot crew did Rocky Raccoon a favor since the Steelers were playing last night. They basically painted him like one of those 55 year-old guys that go shirtless and paint their faces and guts with black and gold paint then try and get on TV. Other than being squashed, he looks GREAT!

Finally, if you read the story, you saw that the line-painting crew said they’re working on fixing the problem (the post Rocky removal gap in the paint line) but it’s hard to put paint on already painted lines. HUH? Do we not have a proby line-painter that we can put in one of those yellow vests, and can walk out there for 5 minutes with a can of paint and a brush to do some touch-up work… of course after another proby removes Rocky’s skeletal remains with a shovel.

Do ya think the foreman vehicle goes with these guys when they’re off the clock? If they can’t see an animal on the road when they’re working, what do they do when they’re driving home!?!?! Come on guys I know it may be hard to see since it’s not a giant traffic cone…but a raccoon!?!?! You painted a raccoon??

Good try on the ol’ “Supervisor wasn’t there to help us so we ran over the raccoon” excuse! How about this.. the next time your seeing-eye-supervisor calls off, please call off the line painting. Cuz the next time it might little Amy or Johnny riding their bikes in the middle of the road and, without a foreman to yell “HALT,” we wold hate to see THEM get a set of racing stripes, Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to Facebook Followers and Honorary Jagoff Catchers, Cindy Killeen Waeltermann, Maureen Leppold Kowalski and Skip Brown for sending us this story.

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Whoso Pulleth Out This Hammer of This Asphalt, Is Rightwise King Born of Indiana

Surely you have seen those photos of a dead animal in the middle of a road with the double yellow line painted over it.  Who knows if they are real or photo shopped.  But bet your IUP drinking cup, this one is the real thing.  It’s a pic from the Indiana Gazette.  Here’s the message posted with it:

A hammer that had apparently been left on the road and rolled over, now seems to be a permanent part of the road at Locust and Fourth streets in Indiana.

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At the time we were writing this, it still had not been confirmed if this was a contractor or municipal employees who, when they got back to the garage, were wondering, “Where in the @$*! did I put that hammer?” Well, look no further astute road-pavers, Indiana Gazette photographer, Tom Peel, found it!

As tale will have it, Tom actually attempted to pull the hammer from the asphalt but was unable.  However, the tale goes on to describe an Indiana “commonor” who DID indeed pull the hammer from the asphalt but, paniced, put it back and ran into Wolfendale’s to throw down a few quick beers.  This commonor’s name was Arthur (otherwise known as Uncle Stush to some)!

Here’ what we think is the funniest thing about this photo.  More than likely, a steam roller smashed it into the asphalt.   How fast does a steam roller go?  Yeah….slower than Pedro Alvarez rounding third on an inside-the-park homerun attempt!

Hey construction dudes and dudettes, this pic really isn’t a big deal trophy to incompetence but, if the steamroller driver was watching what he was doing, once he/she saw the hammer on the ground in front of him, we feel sure that he could have radioed to the project supervisor that there was a hammer laying in his path, that project supervisor could have finished his cigarette, walked over to the water cooler, grabbed a little white-cone cup, filled it 3 times with water, then radioed to the SLOW/STOP sign-holder on Locust, who would have let 27 more cars through, then turned their sign to STOP, then walked over to the cone-placer guy who was waiting for the tar-squeegee guy to finish so that he could pick the cones back up, and asked, “How about those Pirates?” and then after they talked about McCutcheon’s recent batting average, walked over, signaled to the steam roller guy that he was going to pick up the hammer in his path, took two last drags on his cigarrette, threw it to the ground, stamped on it with his steel-toed boot with a twist, then exhaled a chest full of smoke, walked over, leaned down, picked up the hammer and walked away before the steam roller traveled 6 more feet.

But then again, who are we to judge?  Next time throw a candlestick, rope, knife, and a lead pipe in front of the steam roller, then we can have a big game of Indiana “Clue.” Thanks for the smile and the blog material, Ya Jagoffs!

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