Laurie Koozer

Movie-Going Jagoffs

YJ-MovieJags

OK.. the Ya Jagoff trip to Hawaii is on.  

I am presenting at the Hawaii Social Media Summit this week.  

So we have some awesome guest blogs this week!

Today’s by  Laurie Koozer works at University of Pittsburgh and blogs over at www.YinzrReadin.com.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you may have noticed that our beloved city has become something of a big deal when it comes to movies.  When I went to see the awesome movie Gravity a few weeks ago, I felt all kinds of civic pride when a preview for an upcoming Stallone and DeNiro flick featured several shots of the city skyline and the McKees Rocks Bridge.

I was considerably less proud of my city, and humanity in general, about 45 minutes later when it sounded like the whole theater had broken out in conversation.

If you’ve seen Gravity then you know that this is the kind of movie that swings between deafeningly loud and devastatingly quiet with not much in-between.   Every time the volume got lower, I could hear the conversation between a mom and her elementary school age son sitting just behind us.  I, too, am the parent of an intensely curious child who questions everything.  I also know that there is a time and place to give detailed answers at full decibel and that a movie theater is not that place.  I paid $13 a pop to see Clooney and Bullock in space not listen to your theories on space debris or life inside a satellite!!

And it wasn’t just them, a few rows behind there was a couple chatting and a few rows below that some teenage girls were whispering louder than the crowd at the Pirates’ wild card win.

By the time the movie got to the quiet point where I was supposed to reflect on Bullock’s emotional plight, I was too busy being angry to concentrate.  Instead, I was seriously reflecting that hurdling through space seemed like a cakewalk compared to sitting in this theater and enduring one more minute of all this non-stop yakking!

Okay, so in the grand scheme of things, I know that talking in the movie theaters doesn’t really compare to space catastrophe but can anybody tell me what is so important and interesting that people can’t wait 90 minutes to tell somebody?  Unless you get a text that Sidney Crosby is eating dinner at the PF Changs next door or there is an asteroid coming to destroy the theater, it can wait!

There are already 17 million reminders at the beginning of the movie to turn off your cell phones, do we also need a few dozen reminders to shut the hell up?

Even if societal manners have degraded to the point where all the jagoffs are talking during the movie, I want to believe that Pittsburghers are better than that.

So prove me right and next time you go out to see a movie, just sit down, shut up and enjoy the show, YA JAGOFFS!!

 

Still clueless about proper theater etiquette?  Check out Laurie’s blog Yinz R Readin for some  pro tips on how to watch a movie

 

About Today’s Guest Blogger:

Laurie is the author of the Pittsburgh-centric novel What Happens on Sunday.

The ebook is available now on Amazon.  Click The Pic

Pool + Pool Toys + Kids = Today’s Blog

This is not only a guest blog, it ends with a prize for someone!!!

Details at the end.

By  Laurie Koozer works at University of Pittsburgh and blogs over at www.yinzrreadin.com.

When summertime hits, you can find me at the pool. Neighborhood pools, wave pools, Sandcastle pools, I’m on it. Now I know that there are those among us who prefer not to swim with the rest of the community, but generally speaking I’ve always found the majority of Pittsburgh area pools to be quite pleasant and we’re really lucky to have so many.

That being said, there’s ALWAYS a couple of jagoffs.

Last year I had a run-in with such a person when a woman old enough to know better snatched the beach ball out right out of my 2yo’s hands. As my 2yo cried, the lady explained that the beach ball we were using was her granddaughter’s. I explained that it most definitely wasn’t and that even if it was she didn’t need to snatch it like that. Reluctantly, the lady gave us our ball and walked away.

A few minutes later I saw that lady and a motley crew of her fellow pool-goers heading toward us, this time with a pouty-faced nine-year-old. They demanded that I hand over the beach ball, displaying Pouty-Face front and center to work on my guilt.

Except I didn’t have any guilt because we’d taken this ball out of our very own beach bag and had been playing with it for nearly an hour!

One of the crew, a twenty-something dude wearing a shark tooth necklace, stood up on his tiptoes as if to intimidate me:  “My grandma says that’s OUR ball.”

Lucky for me, about that time I saw a lone beach ball just like ours floating in the deep end. When I pointed it out, Pouty-Face said that she’d been playing with it over there by the slide and after a polite apology they were on their way.

Later that night, I took out a Sharpie and wrote our last name on every pool toy we owned to avoid any future rumbles.

Cue last Saturday.

My kid took her watering can, some buckets and other assorted toys to the pool and we left them at our towel. Walking back from the deep end, I noticed that the kids from the towels next to us were playing with our toys. Personally, I try to keep an eye on my kids and make sure that they’re not using other kids toys, but, you know, to each their own.

I wasn’t overly upset about it but when 3yo noticed she definitely was. I told her to go over and ask the little boys for her toys back. She went over and politely asked.

The little boy said “Just a minute,” proceeded to fill up her pail with water to throw at one of his buddies and then WAILED it at my daughter.

It went wide left, but OH MY GOD, HE JUST THREW A BUCKET AT MY KID!

Even worse, the moms, who CLEARLY saw what happened, didn’t even offer up an “I’m sorry” or “You have to apologize, Johnny.” Nope, they just kept right on chatting.

Kids will be kids, I know, but the moms who acted like nothing happened and couldn’t even muster an apology?  Based on the looks of your expensive bathing suits and perfectly styled hair, I would have thought you had a little more class than that. Boy was I wrong, Ya Jagoffs!!!!

Laurie Koozer works at University of Pittsburgh and blogs over at www.yinzrreadin.com. Her novel, What Happens on Sunday, chronicles the lives and loves of 6 women during the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers season. And you better believe that it contains the word “jagoff”!

The ebook is available now on Amazon.  Click The Pic

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