5 Ways on How to NOT Be a Jagoff on Light-up Night




Photo by Davie DiCello Photography’ www.DaveDiCello.com

A simple post today.  Here is a list of 5 things on how NOT to be a Light-up Night Jagoff.

1)  Macy’s Windows – do not push your kid through the pack of kids to see the windows.  Its kind of like merging on to the Fort Duquesne Bridge, if you just take your time and do the “zipper-thing” of alternating who gets in, we will all get in.  Your kid isn’t special!  Bonus note: turn your flash off when taking pics of the windows or you’ll just get what looks like Halleys Comet blasting out Hanzel and Grettle.

2)  Forget about all of the free stuff, unless they are cookies!  You will probably forget the free litter bag that someone gives you and, if you don’t, whatever is in there, you will throw in the garbage anyway.  If you realize that early on, you won’t get all “tough-guy” when the person in line to get a squeeze ball allows 5 of their friends to cut in front of you.

3)  In keeping with #2, there’s really no need to cut lines to get a free lighted-twirly-thingy that won’t last past midnight or to get a free newspaper.  Are those gifts really worth a line cut?  OK.. some of the free “eats” you want but, back-off.  Go buy an Eat n Park Smiley cookie for a buck!

4) Whatever “restrooms are for customers only” signs you violate for whatever reasons, including, walking in, looking at the menu and then giving the McDonald’s cashier that “I’ll be right back I have to pee first” fake look, flush the damned toilet!!!  Seriously, there are more of us who need to go… and some of us even went the 9-yards and purchased a small fries so that we wouldn’t feel guilty about not being a customer.  How hard can it be to reach in there, WITH YOUR FOOT, and kick the flushing handle?

5) When watching fireworks, here’s a big tip…. you don’t have to be in the “front row!” HINT: they are in the sky so, no matter where you stand, you just have to look up!  So don’t wast your time moving yourself or, even worse your kid, in front of another kid to get to the front. Just stand still and look up!!!!

OK… please share this post and hopefully we all enjoy a great Light-up Night.


The photo above is from Dave DiCello.  You can purchase his 2015 calendar here.

And you can pre-order our new Jagoff book, “Above the Fries” by clicking on the cover graphic below.



Yakkin’ With YaJagoff – Pens Announcer Mike Lange, Part #2

We are yakkin’ with Pittsburgh Penguins Hall of Fame broadcaster, Mike Lange at Jergel’s.

What does Mike do in the summer?

He’s a fan of “the Blues” but not the St. Louis kind and, of course, he WANTS me to be his sidekick some day because we are hockey buds!

Go to the Pens website HERE to hear more of Mike Lange-isms.


For the production!

Special thanks to our gracious hosts.


(They are both AWWWWWWWESOME!)

Thanks to ReichPM for helping to secure the interview.


Route 28 Construction is OVER??


Even people who moved away from Pittsburgh and come back every 15-20 years know to plan for erratic traffic patterns due to construction.  I’m fairly certain that George Washington wrote about them in his logs.

But, according to this news report at KDKA-TV, the work on Route 28 is officially over… completo….finito…done-o!

My question to you, how long will it be before Duquesne Light, a gas company or water company heads out to that stretch and digs up a manhole cover OR, even worse, just puts a hole in it to check a valve?  And then, of course, replaces that 4 x 4 foot section with some cheap black top that starts the pothole parade progression?

You’ve seen it….. a road just gets a nice finish and BOOM… within a week some utility is jack-hammerin’ a square out of it.

In the meantime, what the hell are those people “up 28″ gonna use for being late to work from now on?  Hell, they might even be early for work these days for the first time in 6 years!  What will Pittsburgh traffic reporters do to fill time… the time that they used to use talking about the #!* that was going on Route 28?

Wait!  Do you think the the Route 28 construction was created by the local traffic reporters so that they would have jobs??

I’ve digressed, so let’s say this… thanks to those who worked their ARSES off on that road and even got it done early AND under budget.  And for you utility peeps, stay the hell away from that road with your backhoes, bulldozers and air-compressor tools or owl get Sister Anecita outta retirement to come out there and bash your jack-hammer-shovel-pick-some-stand-around-and-do-nothing knuckles Ya Jagoffs!!