It’s been a while since we had a News Jagoff to post but, thanks to our girl Jackie-Sunday-Chatter-Hatter the dead streak is broken. We were totally shocked that we found this on on our own and that nobody had sent it to us yet at the time we are writing. Maybe it was still too fresh!!!
Deets:
Seems that Fayette County’s Jackie-Sunday-Chatter-Hatter decided to try her hand at a local business venture.
People driving to church on Sunday found her on a street corner offering to take her clothes off for money.
Oh yeah… she was found with some marijuana on her. (DUH)
It’s not clear if anyone was actually desperate enough to take her up on the offer or if she was incorporated as a Sole Proprietorship, LLC, or an S Corp or had proper zoning variances.
Now we are, by no means, “Ken Dolls,” but… from the looks of that pic, Jackie’s got some work to be done by the local funeral home make-up artist before she can be eligible to be offering any kinda deals like that!!!! Home Depot might be having a sale on spackling compound and palm sanders this weekend. ( Yikes!)
Jackie.. great attempt at starting your own business. The folks from “Shark Tank” would be proud to meet you. But WE think your business start…well… was implemented in the REVERSE ORDER of what it should have been!!!
In our not-so-humble-opinion, we think you should have taken your clothes off and THEN stopped cars to see how much they would give you to PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!!!! You’da been a millionaire by the start of the local Noon mass!!!!!
In the meantime, think of something different to earn that $25K in bail money.
And, here’s a toast to hoping that the judge doesn’t sentence you to “community service” as a church usher, helping with Sunday collections. And if he/she does….. make sure you dress in layers and go to a very small church, so that, if you DO get any primal urges during the collection, you will still have SOME clothes on by the time you walk the loot back up to the altar, Ya Jagoff!!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
Well it’s obvious that her welfare check ran out too soon. Give a girl a break for gosh sakes. She was working with what she had and that’s still better than some of our fine lazy citizens. I give her an E for effort, but an F on her choise of location.