I love these stories. It’s like, everyone was sitting around, drinking and saying to each other, “Ya know what would make us a bunch of money fast?” And then they down a few more “bravery beers” and go to it! But…. they forget to plan what the next step might be…. like… “Where do we hide or sell 10, 10-foot aluminum rails?” (especially since they are now mentioned on the news and in the Trib)
Now one might say, “Hey, they’re probably doing it for the metal exchange rate!” Yeah, I get that but, my question is HOW…. as in how in theeeeeeee hell does someone conceal these things and shop them around.
Maybe they use them as stilts?
(Hey, buddy, pssssst, over here, pssssst, guess what’s under my coat and you can have it for only fie-dolla!”)
Wait…. maybe I misjudged ya! Maybe you took those rails home to paint them with black and gold Rustoleum to help out the Army Corp of Engineers and plan on bringing them back to install them as RiverWatch volunteers! If so…ahhhhh.. nevermind.
Well “rowdy railer reapers,” good luck hiding the rails under your mattress…or…hanging out in downtown Pittsburgh yelling, “Who needs 2…aluminium rails? I got parking passes too!”
This may be a little premature but…. good luck in jail, YA JAGOFFS!!!!
Rachael Rennebeck is a Pittsburgh jagoff (the term of endearment version of jagoff of course) who cofounded YaJagoff Media, LLC. With decades of experience eating, drinking, shopping, living, and being among yinzers, we birthed the Pittsburgh-centric company encompassing all things related to the 412, oh, and the 724.
