The REAL Crime Was – It was Mrs. T’s Pierogies!


No kidding!!!

There’s some alleged fight on the South Side at 2am…not so unique.

Guy with frozen stuff in his drawers during March Madness?  Not so unique here either because, it’s well documented how many guys get vasectomies during March Madness so that they can sit around with frozen peas in their drawers, drinking beers watching basketball.

But these yinzers ALLEGEDLY got into a fight on the South Side (see PG Website) and the dude, whose identity is NOT protected with pierogies, had, “a bag of frozen sliced potatoes in his right pants leg and a frozen bag of Mrs. T’s…………

And there ya have it… his REAL criminal act!  Roaming around the South Side which, I don’t believe any single point of, is any further than 5 blocks of some church or local business selling fresh pierogies ESPECIALLY during Lent and he has Mrs. T’s!  C’mon guy…. if you’re gonna fight local, you should at least shop/allegedly-steal local!!!

Dude….I hope the South Side magistrates have pity on you for this.  I hope you understand the gravity of your mistake, as my 85-year old 8th grade nun, Sister Concessa, would say.  One suggestion if I can be so bold, if ya try to allegedly steal butter and onions on the next go-round, make sure it’s not hot… cuz no amount of frozen ANYTHING will help THAT pain, Ya Jagoff!


Tomorrow…. get ready for another Pittsburgh Blogger April Fool’s Day Swap.  Some other blogger will have a blog post here and I will have a blog post somewhere else. 


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The Starbucks Crapper Jag



If you’re at all familiar with the Greentree Starbucks, you know how cramped the store AND the parking lot is.  The parking lot has been a frequent topic of #PeterParkers here.

If you’re not familiar with the Greentree Starbucks, picture a Starbucks built into one of those Tiny Houses.  Like, so small that, when they steam the cream for the latte, espresso, cappuccino…. or whatever they put that stuff on…the guy across the room’s eye glasses steam up.

So, after my little meeting and smoothie drink at this Starbucks, I head to the restroom because I have a long drive coming up and, well, my mom used to threaten me with the fear of God if I didn’t “Try to pee” before we left the house. Just as I say goodbye to the person that I had met with, I see “a guy” heading to the single-stall restroom…he’s carrying a newspaper into there.. and he’s 5 steps ahead of me!   He’s going in there to do a “sit down!!!”

Are you kidding me?  In this little place….with a ton of patrons…he’s gonna go stink up the joint?

(And in this place…it’s so small…I mean stink up the ENTIRE joint!)

Dude…. I understand the ramifications of IBS and how things like a Starbucks lotta-crappa-lotta-with-an-extra-shot-of-caramel can run through ya.  But…have some class.  Do your sodoku and morning poo at home… or at work after you punch in (on company time).  Not here in the tiny Starbucks, Ya Jagoff!

Comedy Fundraiser for Comedian Billy Elmer



OK… it’s Friday and cousin Duane is in from Florida.  We drank too much of the Moonshine that he brought with him from North Carolina so blogging about this….. BILLY ELMER COMEDY FUNDRAISER.

Billy is a Pittsburgh comedian that has performed all over, has been seen in the movie Wedding Singer and ….well….his credits are endless.

Billy is headed for heart surgery in a few days and, he could use some help with medical expenses as well as living expenses for him and his kids since he will not be able to work.

Billy has done more fundraisers than most of us could ever imagine.. including a few for my friends, causes, etc. over the years.  Now it’s time to step up for him.  A bunch of comedians, organized by fellow comedian John Knight, are doing a show at the  Kennedy Township Fire Hall, May 1st.  I am lucky enough to be the show MC…or… microphone holder..or..door opener…or car parker.

I hope to see you there and, if not, maybe you can make a small donation to help him.

Follow the link below for details.

Tickets/Donations here–>