Man Parts Removal?

YJ-BoxCutter

Well, if ya didn’t think THIS would make national news and embarrass the rest of us Western, PA’ers….

Police said Gerald Lee Orock Jr., 56, of Fombell, who was on the couch of the apartment, told them his wife, Lisa Jones-Orock, 39, of 327 Orchard Ave., Apt. 404, had tried to cut off his private parts with a box cutter.

Full Story in New Castle News Here

The sad part for the guy is, it is now documented by police, that this his wife only needed a box cutter to do the deed.  You’d think he would have had the sense to bribe the cops into  documenting that his wife needed a chain saw, a pry bar and the New Castle Fire Department’s Jaws-0f-life to cut that through thing!!!

Hey Gerald and Lisa…. good work  bringing national attention to New Castle.  They just don’t get enough recognition in non-Fireworks season!

Not sure what led to such pent up anger, but hopefully, it’s a little more than Gerald beating Lisa in the “farting game” and Lisa being a sore loser when Gerald yelled, “Ooooooo you ate it!”  But, I doubt it, Ya Jagoffs!

 

And thanks to Kim @lipstklibrarian from Twitter for being forwarding this story and being today’s Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

 

The New Pickup Truck Bed Option

YJ-Millvale

Is this REALLY what it APPEARS to be?  The  SJU (Special Jagoff Unit)  staff was on it!  As it turns out, this is NOT someone trying to move a couch by NOT strapping it down properly and driving down Route 28 at 60 mph.

Is this just a new way to get those sandwich, Dorito and popcorn crumbs out of the sofa?  By the way, the sofa wouldn’t get so messy if you used those clear-plastic-cushion-cover thingies that your grandmother used.

The SJU team has determined that this particular brand of pickup truck sometimes attracts a macho dudes by offering special add-ons like towing packages, mud flaps, running lights, etc.  But now, the pick-up marketing gurus want to reach out to more of the female crowd by offering, with every truck, a studly Wilbur Milktoast man with half-leg tennis socks and last year’s Kennywood School Picnic tennies,  to simply ride around in the bed to hold your stuff down AND carry your groceries into the house.

Insert fast-talking man’s voice saying:

Lease a 2014 Pickup and get your very own Wilbur Milktoast bed-rider for $499 per month for 39 months. Total due at signing: $2,499. Security deposit included.  Oxi-clean to keep Wilbur’s tennis socks so white not included. Tax and title separate.

Hey Wilbur Milktoast, sure, you’re working for beer and pizza … just trying to help a friend for family member. By the looks of it, if that thing goes rolling off the pick-up, you’re about to invent Route 28 used-couch surfing,   Next time, we suggest a few spider straps for the couch and a set of hockey equipment for YOU if you’re going to continue to ride back there, Ya Jagoff!!

Thanks to email list follower, GeorgiannRockStar from Instagram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!!!

“Your phone’s ringing, Ya Jagoff!”  Free Ring Tones

Click thumbnail below.

 

St. Paddy’s Day Parade Jag

 

YJ-Parade

(EVERYONE SING)

“…and when Iiiiirish eeeeeeeyes are smiiiiiiiiiling.

Sure they’ll steeeeeal your heart…. awaaaaaaaay!  

Yeah.. I understand that the photo above is a little…um… GROSS and DISGUSTING but, when these things happen, like a car crash or 90-year old cleavage, despite how bad it is, ya still have to look.. or take picture of it on your phone!

To this lady, the internet is teaching you a lesson through a newly approved Behavioral Change Methodology Phone App called, TPE (Total Public Embarrassment).

Suggestion: the next time you spend your hard earned money for your green shirt, socks, earrings, beads, parade-day-eve drinks, breakfast the day of the parade and get a second-mortgage that it takes to pay to park downtown on an event like the St. Paddy’s Day Parade, say “no” to that SECOND glass of beer, YA JAGOFF!

Note: To this point, there is no admission on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram as to who gets the photo credit!