That One Random Christmas Ornament

YJ-Ornament

Back in December or January, you did your damndest to get all of the Christmas Holiday decorations put away. Before you packed the box of stuff in the basement under the steps, in the attic or in the cubbyhole in the garage, you did a double and triple and maybe even a quadruple check of the premises to make sure you had everything packed away.

Part of the reason is because, the Christmas decorations container is like a crock pot…once the lid is on, it does not come off until just the right time.  Besides, you don’t want to give those secret evil elves access to get in to the box and tangle up those Christmas light wires.

So there ya are…getting ready to open the windows…put the screens in.. get ready for the spring and summer and BOOM!  That one @#$@@!* decoration is lurking in a corner of a shelf.  Did that thing escape from the box or did someone actually forget it?  Even more, do you choose to throw it away, tuck it in a junk drawer or do you dig out the Christmas decorations box and put the thing away?

All that I know is that, when I lose my ATM card, I go for 3-4 days without saying anything because I don’t want to admit that it is missing.. I know it will turn up. And, do you know when it turns up?  Within 2-3 minutes of me admitting to someone that I have lost my ATM card!

Same thing with this damned Christmas ornaments!  “Are you SURE you got all of the ornaments in the box?”  My response: “Yes, OF COURSE! What? Do I look like some kind of idiot?”

And damned if that person who asked the question isn’t the one who finds that random ornament that missed the pack-up!!!

Hey random Christmas ornament, I’m not sure who you’re trying to show off for or trying to show up but, this is MY turf!!  I guarantee, next Christmas, you’re getting a spot outside on the porch where you’ll freeze and rust and you will be hollering at me to rescue you and pack you away in that box, Ya Jagoff!

 

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The Pen’s Kunitz Got Robbed — LITERALLY

YJ-Kunitz

This lady is not so happy that Pens winger Chris Kunitz might be home a little early from the playoffs.

You can read the story on WPXI.com but here are the ALLEGED details:

She was the Kunitz’ nanny

She took some expensive earrings from Mrs. Kunitz and supposedly hocked them

She then turned in an insurance claim for them to say they were lost in a fire at her house

The fire at our house was supposedly set by her annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd….

She also ran a breast cancer fundraiser website for herself but… guess what… yeppir.. she didn’t even have breast cancer

Poor Kuny… one of the nicest guys on the roster.. having problems scoring and here’s this woman scoring with his personal stuff let alone, nanny-ing his kids.

Thank GAWD she wasn’t teaching the Kunitz kids how to play the game Operation.  I’m pretty sure she would have been having them do a real-life version where they remove their own organs and then she sells them.

At this point, Monopoly might be a good game to get used to… “GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.. DO NOT PASS CONSOL ENERGY CENTER!”  Ya know, a good defense might be.. “I was gonna sell it to help Mario and Rutherford with the salary cap!

Andrea…c’mon, at least smile for your mug shot.. I  mean.. there’s good news here.. you don’t have breast cancer!!!  By the way, with this kind of record, feel free to apply as a nanny of any on of the Flyers players

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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