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How About Some Fake Pittsburghese!!

Watch this video before you do read further!

Have you seen these ridiculous attempts at patronizing Pittsburghers??  We haven’t seen this kind of patronizing since Jaromir Jagoff told Mario that he wanted to come back to the NHL only as a Penguin!

And what are these two girls doing?  Hopefully not using this commercial for their acting demo reel because, if that’s the case, the only place they MAY get a job is replacing that crazy son-of-a-bee, Gary Busey, in those Century III Chevrolet TV spots after he actually passes out.

Here’s the SAD part.  Beano’s must have held some type of on-line auditions for these roles and, as the video below reveals, the two girls that actually ended up in the commercial must have been the CREAM of the submarine juice crop!

Watch this lady.  (The funny part is at the end when she is trying to use Pittsburghese “an’nat.”) 

Haaaa..haaaaa.. haaaa!!  Seriously!  What in theeeeeeee hell is that Pittsburgh-southern twang? (You may have to watch it again.)

This lady has NO IDEA how to say, “An’nat!”  And the hotty-mess she is trying to exude is completely overshadowed by her attempt to process Pittsburghese as a Beverly-Hills-Houswife-Transplanted-From-Atlanta.  Honestly, don’t you want to watch it again?  It’s kind of like a car wreck and 98 year-old cleavage, you just HAVE to look!!!

But wait.. we have more….check out her warm up video to her actually audition FAIL.

Is that slow head-bob and lip pucker, coupled with the complete lack of a clue on how to talk Pittsburghese not one of the funniest things you’ve seen?  When she pops up out of nowhere to deliver the southern fried version of “an’nat” it’s absolutely oooh-I-might-actually-slip-out-a-fart funny! (If you’re not rewinding those two videos and crying from laughter, you need to go hang out with some puppies and kittens and regain some connection to your emotional side!)

But let’s get back to Beano’s.  What did they pay these actors, free government cheese?  We’ve seen third-grade Catholic School “How the Pilgrims Got Here On the Mayflower” productions with higher budgets.  The only thing missing in the production are construction paper hoagies, colored with crayon, glued to broom handles dancing in the background!  Wait!  Maybe they got a Group-On deal for video production AND actors.

Hey Beano’s-Buffoons, those two girls, with their thumbs in their pockets, who look like they haven’t had a hoagie in their entire life, bobbing their heads saying, “We put Beano’s on our HO-gees an’nat” might actually be more blatantly patronizing than the old-guy-on-the-farm-I-love-Range-Resources-cause-now-Mable-can-go-to-bingo spots.  But here’s the key, Beano’s, at least THEY had the sense to USE real Pittsburghers, Ya Jagoffs!!!

Thanks again to all of our guest bloggers over the past 10 days!!!!  Tomorrow, Quotes On the Bus returns to it’s regular Saturday post and we’re back to posting every Monday, Wednesday and Friday as of next week.



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