MArk Cuban, Caronavirus

With a travel shake up and the NBA putting this season on hiatus, people are starting to panic. Don’t do it. By no means are we down playing the seriousness, rather trying to create a more Zen environment with less panic and fear. That said, here is Pittsburgh ’s best practices for preventing the virus:

  • Please do not make your own hand sanitizer, the likelihood of confusing the homemade slime recipe is likely, and that will not keep your hands clean.
  • Make sure when washing your hands you are singing happy birthday in your head twice. Do not cut corners by using a short name like Bob, go with something long like a middle name and maiden name to be sure you have washed long enough.
  • Social distancing does not mean yelling yinzer-style words across the way at your neighbor since you cannot be close enough to have a conversation about the St. Paddy’s Day parade being canceled, or the potential NHL hiatus.
  • Refrain from complaining about coughing into your elbow, that should have always been a practice instead of your hand, leading to the hand sanitizer shortage. Please refer to number one and do not attempt to make your own.
  • Last but not least, while we appreciate Pittsburgh icons like Mr. Rogers for being such a positive PGH influence, especially regarding manners and daily living tips, appreciate Pittsburgh natives like Mark Cuban.  This one-time yinzer is supporting the little people and recognizing the economic affect this outbreak could have.  He is creating programs to help those who work small jobs within the NBA to not face such a financial hit.

I forgot to add, do not continuously tweet, Facebook vent or IG post negative comments all day long. Practice some social distancing on social media too, ya jagoff.

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