Laundry Jagoffs

Many would agree that even new washers and dryers do not come equipped with a protection program for missing socks. It is that enigma no one has ever been able to solve. Where the heck did the black sock with green polka dots and worn out heel go? It is certainly not in high demand! 

What’s crazy is the same mystery started happening in my kitchen utensil drawer. I have had the same set for about two decades, but I started missing spoons, in particular, like crazy.  

I first I blamed myself for packing good flatware in three school lunches for pudding and yogurt. I even tapped into my good set of flatware complete with gold trim. That’s right, only my kids were at the school lunch table with the offbrand version of applesauce and a golden spoon. 

So, clearly things go missing in my house. Obviously, I don’t have answers for these missing items. The two teenagers, one preteen, and one tired tradesmen/hockey coach have no responses either. 

But, those things could seem common as disappearing items in households. But this week, my kids lost Tanners collar. Disclaimer: The collar is a little too big for him, and he is able to Houdini out of it. However, it is frustrating at the 5 AM hour to search for the collar to take him outside when it goes missing.  

How? How does a collar go missing? The detectives in my house once again came up short. Lucky for me, I did a few laps around the house and found the collar and leash hanging from the light fixture, after all isn’t that where everyone puts their dog collar and leash? In their defense, the collar is camouflage… Insert eye roll and bold letters Ya Jagoffs!!