Let’s do the old MasterCard commercial:

COST OF STAYING IN THE CHARLOTTE DOUBLETREE: $143/NIGHT

COST OF DINNER AT THE CHARLOTTE DOUBLETREE:  $10/HAMBURGER

COST OF PARKING AT THE CHARLOTTE DOUBLETREE:  KIND OF FORGET BUT, AROUND $10/DAY

COST OF ME, SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT OF A CHEAPER HOTEL, EATING MY DOUBLETREE CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIE, SIPPING ON MY FREE DOUBLETREE COFFEE AND STEALING THE CHEAPER HOTEL’S FREE INTERNET:  PRICELESS!!!

Hey DUB-TREE… the fact that you give me extra warm chocolate-chip cookies upon check-in, a free razor if I forgot one, free toothpaste if I forget some, a free comb if I needed one (I don’t), a free USA Today – which nobody ever reads, free soap, shampoo and hair conditioner, free electricity, free water – despite the fact that I run the HOT WATER for 45-minutes to “shower iron” my clothes after traveling coupled with the fact that your wireless internet access is simply floating in the air and not a soul has to do ANYTHING to provide me access to it, do you REALLY have to charge $9.95 to use the internet, Ya Jagoffs??????