As Pittsburghers, we expect a few basic things out of life:

1) Hot water in the shower every morning

2) Morning traffic reports “on the fours” and “weather on the 10’s”

3) Mr. McFeely will ALWAYS look the same

4) A minimum number of Mon-wharf flood warnings per year

      5) 2018 we have learned to expect more pop-up sideways random rain storms than                 Florida

One thing I would add to this list of things that we would LIKE TO TAKE FOR GRANTED… the clicking-thingy on the gas pump nozzle that lets ya  fill our tank WITH NO HANDS!

Seriously!!  It’s like waking up one morning and realizing that you suddenly don’t have a thumb and now you have nothing to sneak up  into the inside of your nostril to scrape out those dry night time “crusties.”

So I go to the local gas pump.  I need a fill up. In the meantime, one of these 2018 random rain storms is brewing. I can see the dark clouds coming in faster than a 50-year old drunk Steelers fan agrees to a face and belly painting outside of Heinz Field.

But wait!  I have to mess around holding the stupid gas nozzle trigger… the rain is coming,  can’t sit in the car and stay dry. I have to stand there and squeeze that thing for the entire 15.6 gallons (FYI the tank holds 16 gallons and YES..I do this so often that my gas tank light bulb is probably going to burn out some day.)

What kind of gas station is this?

Hey Sunoco, your gas station is SO high tech that the pump asks more questions than an CPA exam.  It has a car wash, a code reader to get a discount, a card-swiper to pay without going inside, a way to order a sandwich, and cable TV at the pump….but no 20-cent piece of metal to hold the gas trigger? Forget about selling the next kind of scratch-off lottery ticket or 19 kinds of iced tea and Gatorade, get some clicking-thingies, Ya Jagoffs!

 

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So forward to all of your Pittsburgh friends and relatives! 

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