The last 2 weeks we have refrained from posting Jagoffs because of the annual Thing That Turn People Into Jagoffs bracket. But now we are back at Jagoff Catching so why NOT start back with the basics… a #PeterParkersPic ! New here and don’t know what a #PeterParkers pic is? Click HERE.
Meantime, what a cute little car. Nice and clean after such a sucky winter but something’s a little off! Oh wait, there are digital lines on the dashboard scream to show you how to back up but there are NO lines to show you how you should pull IN to a parking spot. Why aren’t their any lines to show how you’re supposed to pull in? Because you have EYEBALLS to see yourself pull in!
And how does one step out of that car and not look down and say.. Hmmmmmmm… I better hit the middle a little better! Not THIS person! And I guarantee ya that, if you pointed this out to them, this nice-clean-car person becomes a defensive, angry person.
It’s kinda like those people that go to church for an hour on Sunday…. they’re all nice, holy and caring, UNTIL AFTER CHURCH when their battling for that closest parking spot at Eat ‘n Park!!! They become raving maniacs at that point!!!
What to do?
1) You can get preterbed, but don’t get “Steelers Lost to Tom Brady Mad!”
2) Put one of our free notes on the car telling the driver that they are about to be famous on some website called, YaJagoff.com.
3) Take the rest of the day off and hang with a relaxing icy drink on a bench somewhere within the sight line of the PeterParkers car. When the PeterParkers return to find your note, sit on the bench pretending to squeeze their heads between your pointing finger and thumb.. like you’re back in 3rd grade!
We say, hire some of those guys that manage those North Side parking lots during Steelers games to work THESE lots during the week. You know, those guys that charge $45 CASH for every spot you take!
We guarantee that will teach ya how to park in ONLY one spot because,
at THAT rate, even a hockey mom who’s only parking skills include pulling into the curb when dropping off junior at the front door of the rink to unload,
figures out how to squeeze a vehicle the size of a Ducky Tour Boat into a spot the size of a Smart Car, Ya Jagoffs!
Thanks to Ruth from Facebook for the pic from Harrisburg area and for being today’s Honorary Jagoff Catcher!