All of this talk about the eclipse and the special glasses that are needed. The eclipse is kind of like an expensive wedding…. a year’s worth of planning and panic and it’ gone it what seems to be about 5 minutes!
As YaJagoff Podcast producer, Wayne Weil, said, “Ya don’t normally stare at the sun any OTHER day so why do you have to do it today?”
Well, today is ALMOST the end of the eclipse talk. Tomorrow, there will be news reports showing the eclipse happening in slow motion, super-slow motion and super-duper-(not the Pascal Dupuis kind) slow motion/close-up.
My thoughts are this thing is gonna happen and you’re gonna go, “Oh… that was it?” Therefore, the following are suggestions for watching today’s eclipse.
- Grab the right “glasses.”
- You don’t need those funky glasses! Just grab some drinking glasses! You’ll get much better usage out of them next week and the weeks after and, when you find the drinking glasses in your junk-pile next year, you won’t feel as silly as if you found year-old-eclipse-watching glasses
- Grab some social alcohol
- If you don’t like beer, put SOME kind of alcohol in the glasses, because you’re probably gonna need some kind of tolerance built up for the junior-astronomers surrounding you that think they know what’s up.
- If you drink enough of the alcohol before the eclipse, the benefit is you’ll pass out and be asleep, therefore not be tempted to stare at the sun!
- NOTE: These are probably the same junior meteorologists that give their interpretation of the day’s weather report on the elevator or at the coffee machine.
- Disclaimer: Do not take this suggestion if your are under 21 or suffer from alcoholism
- If you’re driving during the eclipse, do NOT stop like you’re at the entrance of a tunnel as it gets dark.
- You’re used to driving in the dark every day, this is not new. So no need to panic-drive as if it was a light drizzle during morning rush hour traffic.
- Set your DVR to record the eclipse! (From Pgh Podcast Network, Executive Producer Frank Murgia)
- Seriously..think of all crap you will be able to get done at work, or grocery/back to school shopping while everyone else is preoccupied with trying to see the thing!
- If you don’t have a DVR, surely you have Facebook… at last 17 of your friends will be sharing it from their point of view, 22 of your friends will be posting the sunglasses emoji ON those posts and 5 0r 6 of those posts will get some kind of politically related comment on them that has zero relation to the eclipse posting!
- Not watching the eclipse live allows you to watch it within minutes of it happening BUT gives you the control to fast-forwarding through the video so that you can watch it all in 15-35 seconds.
So that’s it! Have fun today! Remember…. with eclipses, it’s all fun until somebody loses a retina, Ya Jagoffs!
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