A Special Blog Post from Jagoffs Party Candidate for POTUS – John Knight
I will try to keep this brief. This is only because I never planned to have to make this announcement. Let me admit to you that I had already written my acceptance speech. I had in fact written it the day after we announced my campaign back in August. I would like to share some of what I had to say.
Ok, looking at it, it’s a long and rambling speech, so I won’t bore you with all the details. Instead, I will bring you the highlights. I was going to open by exclaiming,
This, while waving a flag as well as a “terrible towel.” It is with deep regret that I tell you, tonight my flag lies limp. Hopefully it will raise again someday, although at this point I can’t see that happening without medical intervention.
The first results came in from McKees Rocks. That’s my hometown and where many of my friends, relatives and people who love me still live. After winning there handily by a whopping three votes, I felt I was easily on the way to victory. Once we had Crafton and Carnegie, I could feel the train rolling us to certain victory.
As further results came in, I was shocked. We didn’t carry a single state. As I travel the country, I try to be the biggest “jagoff” I can be. Wherever I go, I act like a “jagoff.” You would think voters would recognize this.
We of course didn’t have the unlimited budget that my opponents had. I would like to thank all of my supporters and we took it as far as we could on the $17.39 that we raised. Unfortunately we could only afford to air one television add. It ran at 3 AM on TMZ, “Air Zanzibar,” on October 30. I really thought they would get our message out once they saw it. I think there may have been some trouble with their Wi-Fi.
Looking back, I will acknowledge I may have made some mistakes. Taking a vacation from the campaign during the last two weeks of October, may have been bad timing.
Although, we didn’t win this time, we are not done. The “Jagoff” movement has just started and I can promise you this,
“I will continue to be the biggest “Jagoff” I can be.
“I’m John Knight and I approve this message.”
“It was rigged! Rigged I tell you
Follow John on Twitter @jknight841
Order his book by clicking the icon below.