yj-wallet

You can see the full story on KDKA-TV’s website but, here’s the deal.

Good Samaritan finds a wallet on the ground in the WalMart parking lot.

Good Samaritan asks guy in car if it’s his wallet.

Guy in car says yes but seems shifty.

Good Samaritan and guy in car get into a scuffle and guy in car gets wallet.

Sub Plot: Lady in car says “please don’t call the police.”

Eventually, guy and lady from car use the cards from the wallet to purchase stuff.. including in the same WalMart.

Guy gets his pic taken!  Pic of their car is taken too!

So at this point, the guy who lost his wallet is kind of out of luck.  The Good Samaritan is full of more second guesses than Pens fans had for Dan Bylsma wouldn’t play Jarom Iginla on the right wing.  And the guy who lied about the wallet, now has just about as many pictures of him floating around the internet as a Kardashian.  And he seems to have about as much class as a Kardashian.

Soooooo Wally the Wallet Wrangler….good move on going BACK to the store where ya stole the wallet.  Lord knows, they weren’t ready for that one with all of their security cameras!  Here’s hoping that you purchased a series of Halloween masks with your stolen wallet and credit cards you’re going to need them as you move about the country.. er.. I mean.. the parking lot and various departments of the same WalMart!  Then again, I’m pretty sure they’re going to figure you out when you make a Monster drink and SlimJim purchase with one of those Horse Head Masks used in all of the memes!

Also, be glad that my mother’s not gonna catch you before the cops…. the one time in my life that I had a wallet and didn’t return it to it’s rightful owner IMMEDIATELY, she nearly yanked the short hairs completely out of the back of my neck, Ya Jagoff!

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