Welcome to our regular Saturday feature “What Aggravates Me”

I waited too long. I was out of town and didn’t get around to picking up my candy until three days before Halloween. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I guess I should have grabbed it in July when the displays went up. Had to go with what they had, so this year the kids will be getting candy canes.

We’re a little over a week away from this ugly election being over. I think most of us are disgusted with the whole thing. It’s not like other years when you would see signs everywhere, endorsing one candidate or the other. I’ve only seen a handful this year and not a single “Knight” sign to be found. There’s even a “Bernie” sign in one yard and he’s been out of the race since August. It’s like people think my whole campaign on the “Jagoff” ticket is a big joke.

Anyway, let’s move away from politics and get to the real issue. This is the time of year when all four major sports are being played. We’re down to the final two teams in baseball and again, for the 37th straight year, neither team is the Pirates.

Of the two teams playing now, neither has won a championship for a long time. The Cleveland Indians in 1948. There were only 48 states at the time. Their opponent, the Chicago Cubs, haven’t won since 1908. There were only 46 states at the time. Teddy Roosevelt was president. He’s now on Mount Rushmore. So I guess 37 years doesn’t seem that bad. Well, if you could forget about the twenty straight losing seasons.

I know, as Pirates management keeps telling us, it’s hard to compete with the big markets. What like Cleveland? Last year Kansas City won it all. This year Cleveland is in. Both markets are similar in size to Pittsburgh. What’s the difference?

I tried to contact Pirates owner Bob Nutting for comment but was told he was busy cutting coupons for starting pitchers. Remember that one he used last year, get three starters for the price of one. He got Ryan Vogelsong, Juan Nicasio and Jon Niese for less than the price of one J.A. Happ, and we all saw how that turned out. Happ won twenty games with Toronto and um…well, Happ won twenty games with Toronto.

The Blue Jays signed him for three years and 39 Million dollars. That’s too steep for the Pirates ownership. They shop at the “Dollar Store” of baseball. If you’ve ever bought something cheap, trying to save money, what did you find? It doesn’t work very well does it?

After three straight playoff years, the Pirates had another losing season. You have to hope it’s not the beginning of another streak. I think all of you remember what those twenty years were like. I don’t think I have too many three and four year olds reading this column. Maybe a couple. Probably have less after this week.

“That’s the jerk that gave out candy canes for trick or treat!”

The Pirates have a good core group of players, if they keep them. Will Andrew McCutcheon be back next year? He’s only under his current team friendly contract for two more years. Which means at best, one more year here. That’s because when this contract is up he’ll look to get paid what All-Star outfielders make. No coupons for those, so goodbye.

I’m not going to start criticizing until I see what kind of moves the Pirates make in the off season. I’m just going by the track record under this owner. They were still in the hunt for a wild card when they had to unload their closer, Mark Melancon, in July. Why? No coupon.

So good luck to the Cubs and Indians and their fans. Whoever wins, it will have been a long time coming. With the current Pirates ownership, it could be a long time before we see another World Series here. Who knows, by the time the Pirates make it, Donald Trump could be on Mount Rushmore…Hey, I had to put in something scary. Happy Halloween.

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