Welcome to our regular Saturday feature “What Aggravates Me”

There’s a lot of feuding on social media lately. People being unfriended or unfollowed or doing the same to someone else. I’ve noticed these moves are all based on political views about the upcoming election. All I can say about it is,

“Are you kidding me?”

How can anybody be so dedicated to either of these…ah…I guess I’ll just call them choices, that you are losing friends over them? Granted, I don’t know who half of my Facebook friends are anyway, so it wouldn’t be that big a loss. But some of you are losing actual friends over…these two?

If you pay attention, you know we’ve been running our own campaign with me running as the “YaJagoff” Party Candidate. We’re doing this in fun and based on the fact that most of the country is dissatisfied with the selection of candidates. That’s why we have our campaign slogan, “He’s not the other Two!”

Let’s take a look at the other choices. Hillary, a lifelong politician, bought and paid for by all of the same people that run things. One of the big issues in this campaign is people need better paying jobs. She promises to create them by taxing the corporations and wealthy people that brought her here. Never going to happen.

Oh, I’m sure if she’s elected she’ll try to get it through. She will do this knowing that it will never get passed by a Congress that is owned by these same people. It will all be for show. It’s like when the Pirates make a low ball offer to one of their free agent pitchers, just to pretend like they are trying. They know the guy will never sign for the price they’re offering. It’s just an attempt to dupe the fans.

The other candidate, Donald Trump, is going to bring back jobs from other countries by lowering the taxes on corporations and the wealthy. He doesn’t say how this is going to work, since corporations and the wealthy have been getting tax breaks for years now and still moved jobs out of the country. It’s just if you pay attention to Trump, whatever he says goes, even if he’s contradicting himself.

This guy won’t worry about working with congress. If he’s elected he will try to fire them all the first time they don’t let him have his way. He’s not running for President. This loon wants to be King, the all-powerful dictator.

I was trying to come up with a name we can call him. This name would be based on his dictatorship and the fact that he’s a certifiable loon. Der Lunor is ok. Then I thought of Il Lune’ based on Mussolini. Then it struck me, the perfect name, “El Lunaticke’” (Loon-a-tick-ay).

I think this name let’s everyone know that we are dealing with a man that the rules do not apply. For example, he was bragging during the debate that he made 690 million dollars last year. He also won’t release his tax returns because he doesn’t want anyone to know he didn’t pay any taxes last year.

So, “El Lunaticke’” made roughly, 690 million more than most of us last year. I don’t know about you, but I paid taxes. He said the fact that he didn’t pay taxes makes him smart. If any of us didn’t pay taxes we would be a tax cheat and a criminal where “El Lunaticke’” is intelligent. Are you starting to see how this works?

A story came out just this week about Trump illegally sending money into Cuba for business possibilities. His answer to this,

“This is a reporter with a terrible reputation.”

Do you see what he did there? It’s called blame shifting. He does this all the time. So instead of him illegally breaking the trade embargo it’s,

“Reporter bad, “El Lunaticke’” good.”

I picture a scenario where Donald Trump no sooner removes his hand from the bible at the inauguration and the whole world is thrown into total pandemonium. Cities in flames, people walking down the street naked and bloody, it will be an ugly scene. OK, it may not happen immediately, but within a few hours. You’ll see.

I know this is supposed to be about how terrible both candidates are and I’m spending more time on Trump. In my defense I say,

“How can I not? He gives me so much to work with.”

What I’m trying to say is we shouldn’t be unfriending each other. We should all get together and demand a do-over with two new candidates. I know, we’re too far into this thing now. This is it. Most of us are disgusted. Although, there are people out there that are loyal to their party’s nominee no matter how bad they are.

I mean “El Lunaticke’” said Ted Cruz wife was a prostitute and his father killed Kennedy. What does Cruz say?

“Ok, I’ll still vote for you.”

I mean if those two can remain friends, why can’t the rest of us? God help us all.

 

 

Heads up, next week’s column will not be about politics. Ghost Hunt with Ghosts n’at Carrie Blast Funace

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1 COMMENT

  1. Great commentary. One thing I always wonder about is how people can say, “Well, I mine as well vote for candidate X (usually Trump) because things can’t possibly get any worse.” As if any change at all is guaranteed to be better than no change. Ummm….really? Maybe their personal lives are terrible, but to project that onto every issue facing the country and the world without giving an honest and critical look at both candidates (especially you know who, but let’s call him Candidate X) is rather selfish and narrow-minded in my opinion. It’s also likely a severe misdiagnosis of what’s making their lives so terrible in the first place, both within the political system and beyond.

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