Our “What Aggravates Me” Saturday Feature from Comedian, John Knight

Searching for a topic for this week’s column I saw that this past Tuesday was the forty year anniversary of the release date of the “Born to Run” album. It’s one of the all-time classics and my own personal favorite. I began to think about the opening line of the title song, and what it means today.

“In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream.”

The American Dream is the belief that in this country everyone is given the freedom to achieve prosperity and success through hard work. Yeah, it helps to know the right people and do some ass kissing, but you learn that along the way. Of course we are not all given the same opportunities. The best way to become wealthy is to be born that way. If you’re not chances are you won’t be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a decent life.

It’s all what you make of it. It’s a hell of a lot easier to be unhappy. The people who are always looking for something better. You know these people. Maybe you’re one of them. One of the big stories of the week was the hack of the adultery website, Ashley Madison. Their slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair.” I guess if it was, “Life is short, why not screw it up.” they would have had less than thirty-seven million users.

Thirty-seven million! That’s mind boggling. Chances are good somebody reading this signed up. Ok, they’re not reading now, but they started to. How could you find this many idiots? Granted, thirty-six million and change were men, but still. What are you thinking?

“It’s the internet, what could go wrong? Nobody’s ever broken into a site there.”

I had my e-mail hacked last December. Everybody on my list received an e-mail saying that I had gone on vacation to Croatia. You know, because December is when you want to go there. It also stated that I had been robbed and desperately needed money. Probably my own fault for going during the busy Croatian tourist season.

It was a pain to fix but not as hard as trying to fix a marriage after getting caught on a cheater’s site. The average age on the Ashley Madison site is forty-six. Are these people unhappy with their spouse or their older selves?

“So you’re scared and you’re thinking that maybe we ain’t that young anymore.”

I don’t think there were thirty-seven million unhappy marriages. Just a lot of people that feel they deserve more. Well they weren’t happy with what they had and now they’ll have less. Maybe nothing depending on what kind of lawyer their spouse hires.

“Show a little faith there’s magic in the night, you ain’t a beauty but hey you’re alright.”

Unless you’re Native American, some member of your family came here from another country. They came here because this is the land of opportunity. Well it used to be anyway. It won’t be like that for eleven million Mexicans. Not if Donald Trump has his way.

You all know Trump. He’s the billionaire campaigning desperately to get a four hundred-thousand dollar a year job. His slogan is “Let’s make America great again” which I think he came up with just so he could wear a hat and not have to do that thing with his hair.

His plan to fix what ails this country is to deport the illegal Mexicans living here and build a giant wall across the border. The estimated cost of the wall is something like five hundred billion but it will create jobs. The problem is, Mr. Trump wants Mexico to help pay for the wall. If this happens it will be less expensive to use Mexican labor. So, he’s not even elected and already he’s exporting jobs.

A lot of these people are drug dealers and thieves and something should be done about them. There are also those that are working and paying taxes and have children born in this country. They just didn’t go about the proper way of getting here.

Trump’s solution, and tell me if this sounds expensive to you, is to round them all up and send them packing. Then after you build the giant wall the good ones can come back. How is this decided? I would imagine there would be a committee holding little placards that say good on one side and bad on the other. Then you would hold up a picture of each individual and vote. You then would repeat this eleven million more times. I mean how else would you do it? As of now this man leads in all of the polls.

“And the poets down here don’t write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be.”

Follow John on Twitter @jknight841

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