The photo above is from Hawaii. Yes, paradise has Jagoffs too! I’ve used the Jagoff-estrator to highlight the Jagoffery.
Here’s the tweet that accompanied the pic:
— Melissa Chang (@Melissa808) May 15, 2015
You’ve seen these before.. walking Jagoffs. They come in various shapes and sitches (which means “situations” in cool-kids talk from what I hear).
Walking Jagoffs #1: Walk down a street despite the fact that there is a fully accommodating, capable, available sidewalk.
Walking Jagoffs #2: Walk down a street or cross in a crosswalk in front of our car, texting and walking slower than a turtle comedian trying to overemphasize how slow turtles walk.
Walking Jagoffs #3: The person in a shopping center parking lot that you considerately give the “Royal Wave” to cross in front of your car and then they walk diagonally to their destination vs. walking a straight line to cross in front of you, getting past the front of your car, and THEN turning toward their destination.
Walking Jagoffs #4: People that you let cross in front of your car and then they do that, “I’m making it look like I’m running but I’m not really running” routine.
Walking Jagoffs #5: People that you let cross in front of you but don’t acknowledge a “Thanks.”
So to the happy paradoxical paradise pedestrians (yeah.. I did that all by myself), get on the sidewalk before a car creeps up on ya and beeps a horn making you SHART in your paradise pants, Ya Jagoffs!
Thanks much to Melissa Chang for the Tweet and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher.
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