Everyone knows about the ignorance of taking “more than 14 items” through the 12-items-or-less lane, right? (We usually give slack for 2 small items.) I actually had a guy once with two baskets full of stuff, who got told by another shopper that he wasn”t supposed to be in that line and responded with, “Hey, if this place would put more cashiers on, I wouldn’t HAVE to be in this line.” Oh, so because the grocery store’s an under-staffed Jagoff, its perfect justification for YOU to be an All-about-ME Jagoff!
I call them BOTH Jagoffs in my brain but smile because I can do this myself. I’ll check my 5 items out in the do-it-yourself checkout line! (Hi, Ho! Hi, Ho, it’s off to the self checkout line I go.)
And WHAT do I find? A woman and 2 kids with a grocery cart, piled to a rounded-top — mom is letting the two kids try the scanner!!!!!! Oh wait, do they know how to share? NO! Mom has to keep telling them to TAKE TURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hey mom, TAKE CHARGE!!!)
I am not one for new laws but I propose this one, the “If-you-are-by-yourself-and-you-have-so-many-items-that-you-have-to-stop-scanning-to-bag-some-of-your-stuff-in-order-to-keep-scanning-Or -you-have-no-idea-how-to-locate-a-bar-code-Or-you-have-never-used-an-ATM-card-Or-you-only-have $800 cash-in-dollar-bills-and-quarters-Or-you-have-enough-groceries-to-feed-3-teenage-boys-for-9-days-Or-if-you-are-so-young-that-you-are-trying-to-scan-your-Eagles-Nest-coloring-page-Then-stay-away-from-the-self-check-out-lane” Law.
All of these people need to be more considerate of others and, hey mom, how about not just standing at the end of the checkout lane bagging the 2 items per minute that are coming down from your kids, how about being a mother and TAKING CHARGE instead of making the rest of us suffer the pain of your Giant Eagle a Home Economics Field Trip. Orrrrrrr go buy one of those Fischer Price scanners for home, YA JAGOFF!!!
Don’t Forget To Order Your VERY Own T-shirt
Click the pic below to see the store.