Question:  Drunk or sober, if you’re a guy and you pee’d on an electric fence and received the shock of your life, drunk or sober, would you ever pee on an electric fence again or would your brain be conditioned to avoid the electric fence for the rest of your life?

(Sorry we don’t have a female reference on this one. But we’re sure you get the point.)

The opening question, and the recent storms led us to contemplate the Mon Warf Parking concept as brought up by one of our followers.  Here’s what was posted on our Facebook page:

I have a suggestion for a Jagoff of the Day (if not decade).  The designer of the Mon Wharf parking area.  It didn’t occur to the jagoff in question that, at the merest hint of precipitation, the place would flood for a month?

Haaaa… how true.. as Pittsburghers all of our life, we never think TWICE what Jagoffery it is to have parking right next to the river with absolutely ZERO protection!!!

A totally objective observer might process the Mon Warf Parking area like this:

There’s a cemented, level area inside the downtown triangle… the triangle where parking is somewhat limited

It’s at the edge of the river

It’s a mere 3 feet above the normal river level

With a large amount of precipitation, the river rises sometimes with warning, and sometimes not

Given all of those points, what did someone decide to do with the slab of cement?  Make it a full-time PARKING LOT!!!!!!

And, despite the fact that indeed it does flood, sometimes suddenly, it’s been a parking lot for as long as we can remember.  We have to admit, even WE have parked there. (Just snorted from embarrassing laugh.)

What does that say about all of us?

Then again, we’re not really sure WHO the Jagoffs are in this case….the people who planned this as a bonafide parking space, the people who APPROVED it as a parking space, the people who sell spots in it every day or the people who actually pay to park there despite the fact they might have some wet floor mats with a good rain storm!

(Starting to feel really stupid right now)

But wait!!!  This made us think what COULD the Mon Wharf area be used for and here’s what we came up with… make the area a full time flea market specifically for pool and water recreation supplies.  Think of it, every time it rains everyone can run down from work, not to rescue their cars, but to get free demos of inner-tubes, rafts and floating bars!!!!!!!  Now THAT my dear Sir/Madam is Outside-the-Box thinking!

So now we re-pose the question..Drunk or sober, if you parked your car at the Mon Wharf and, even 1 time had to hurry up and leave work to move your car OR, even worse, find your car partially under water, drunk or sober, would you ever park your car AGAIN at the Mon Wharf?

The answer for most seems to be “Yes.”

Going back to the Facebook post.. since we have nobody else to blame and governmental types are so easy to blame, here goes it:

Hey City Zoning Dudes and Dudettes, the next time someone offers an idea for an occasionally submersible parking lot, please do what you do best, SAVE US FROM OURSELVES because your our leaders and we clearly don’t know what we should or shouldn’t have, Ya Jagoffs!!!

Special thanks to Adam Birch for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

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