No WONDER we always go to the grocery store ad midnight…so that we don’t have to interact with people. Here’s the email we received. The blog was basically written.
I went in to purchase 3 boxes of cereal for my kids. As usual, a line of 8 people (I’m #7) is lined up as the zombie-like checker ever so slowly scan the items. Mr.Billygoat Jagoff, (male, approx. 50ish with a bald head/grey goatee and wearing a #43 Steeler t shirt) approaches. He looks back at the line and decides it would be quicker to just slip into the #3 slot.
From my position in line, I say, ” Hey, Troy, the end of the line is back here.” He turns and with a cocky smirk holds up an orange hand basket and states, “I only have a few things. It’ll be quick.”
The Jagoff Indicator vein on my forehead pulses and I say, “Unless you get a 100% OK from the five of us waiting, I think you should go to the end. My vote is no, so there goes the 100%.”
He mumbles under his breath and goes to the end of the line and continues to mutter something that sounds like “@#&*… *&#@%, &%$@#!” as I turn sideways to keep my eye on him so as not to receive an elbow to the neck. I finish checking out and he shouts, “Have a nice day, jerk.” as I approach the door. I turn and respond with, “Same to you, Ya Jagoff.”
Points to ponder….what would have happend if “Troy” was older with a cane? What if he had a screaming baby on his shoulder that was irritating everyone else in line? What if he had stains in his paints and smelled like a sewer? What if the bald guy was Casey Hampton in a Troy Polamalu shirt??
Back to “Troy,” as he was so aptly named in the write-up.
We love the fact that “Troy” uses as an excuse for cutting the line, “I only have a few things!” Haaaa.. yeah and we’re guessing that those few things are gonna get paid for with cash, EXACT CHANGE, as a matter of fact…..exact change that you still have yet to pull out of your pocket and count… exact change that you still have to pull out of your pocket and count which is when you find that one of your dimes is caught up in the threads of your your pocket and you can’t get it out and, reaching for it, causes you to drop the other coins onto the floor which, one of them, then rolls UNDER the counter.
No, unless you REALLY ARE Troy Polamalu, go to the back of the line, Ya Jagoff!!!!
Special thanks to Mr. Exwhyzee for catching this Jagoff in the North Versailles
(prounced ver-SALES not ver-SIGH)
making him an Honorary Jagoff Catcher.
Click Below Graphic For Free Ring Tones