As you know we did a little fill-in spot on Q92.9 FM morning show last Friday.  Click here to see our little video.

As you may NOT know, one of their female listeners, Kerri Dawn, went in on Monday as a listener fill-in.  Just like us, she had to be at the downtown studios, on Smithfield, before 6am.

When Kerri got there, she saw the above series of parking notes, cliff notes, subtitles and footnotes.  In a hurry, she THOUGHT it was ok to park in the Green Zone but not in the Red Zone until 9am.  Here’s what she wrote on our Facebook page when she sent us the above pic.

I thought the red and white part of the sign pertained to the red and white arrow & the green and white part of the sign pertained to the space where I was… that they enforced two-hour parking between 9-4. That’s why I went down to feed the meter at 8:30, when I found out my car was just gone.

So her car was towed right in the middle of her radio debut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we present THIS case: at a normal time of day, who would understand that set of signs, arrows, colors? So who the hell knows WHAT to do at 5:30am with one eye open??????????????

Ok to park in Green, bad to park in Red, except for these times, but Sunday, it’s all good, blah.. blahh…blahh-blaah!  Sounds like that scene from the old movie “Airplane:”

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Male announcer: [later] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!

Now we can’t blame the police, if they had her car towed, because they would have been just doing their job…. making sure that Smithfield Street is open and PASSABLE during rush hour (except for the buses that stop every two blocks even on green lights, garbage trucks that stop every at every public receptacle to empty it, office supply delivery vans dropping off yesterday’s overnight photo copy order and those other jagoffs who have to drop their spouse of right in front of the office vs. at the previous red light.)

Hey, whomever you are (cuz we have no idea who creates these most-liveable-city-easy-to-comprehend signs) someone sure knew how to keep wording simple when they raised the meter rates to 25-cents for 7.23452 minutes on downtown streets.  It was pretty much, “It’s now 25 cents, SCREW YOU.”   So how about for THESE signs, something ORIGINAL like, how about just PARKING HERE and NO PARKING THERE, Ya Jagoffs!!!

See our OTHER confusing sign post from earlier this year by clicking the sign pic below. 

5 COMMENTS

  1. Well how do you account for all the illiterates in this city that park along the side of Seventh Avenue right next to the USX Tower? There are signs about every twenty yards that clearly state “No Parking or Stopping”. Yet every day during rush hour there are at least three cars stopped there obstructing traffic for those of us that need to get on the ramp that leads to Bigelow Blvd.

    If the city needs to squeeze a quarter out of us for every 7 minutes of parking in a none obstruct area, I bet they could make about $500 bucks a day handing out tickets during rush hour and never have to move more than 50 yards! And, as an extra added bonus, that “merge” to get around these Jaggoffs would be eliminated (improving safety) and it would lessen the congestion in that area (well at least a little bit).

    Just had to get that off my chest… Thanks for letting me vent!

  2. Chip I’d have to agree with you about the Jaggoffs who park in places CLEARLY MARKED, that’s just complete ignorance, however this parking dilemma is not quite the same. Kerri Dawn just so happens to be my daughter, so naturally I would defend her, but she is a very intelligent young lady, and far from illiterate, or lacking in common sense. I honestly believe that these signs are purposely designed to confuse, that’s easy CHA~ CHING for the Burgh. Well hopefully they won’t be cashing in on my daughter as she plans to fight this.

    Just had to get this off my chest… Thank you for letting me vent!

  3. Chip I agree with you about the Jagoffs who park in spaces CLEARLY MARKED, that’s just plain ignorance, however this parking dilemma is quite different. Kerri Dawn just happens to be my daughter, so naturally I would defend her, but she is also a very intelligent, not lacking in common sense, and far from an illiterate. I honestly believe that these signs in question are purposely designed to confuse, in turn creating CHA~CHING for the Burgh. Hopefully they won’t be cashing in on my daughter as she plans to fight this.

    Just had to get this off my chest, thanks for letting me vent.

  4. My comment was not in anyway intended or directed to the parking efforts of Ms. Dawn, but rather to those that park in spots that are CLEARLY MARKED like the ones right outside the USX building. And what is more frustrating is that Ms. Dawn got a ticket and “Pittsburgh’s Finest in Blue” continue to ignore the problem that I deal with everyday on 7th Avenue (right next to the USX Building) on my commute home from work.

    I took a few pics last night as evidence in what I’m referring to and will submit it to this site. Hopefully they’ll get posted.