OK.. it has taken us a while to pull the trigger on this one. Watch the video.
(No seriously, watch the video… you may have to turn your sound up a little bit.)
This is where it gets a little petty and dicey cuz this is obviously someone’s dad/husband/uncle but HERE IT COMES:
Do you find yourself clearing your throat EVERYTIME that commercial comes on?
Oh man! We know he can’t help it but, the Kermit-with-helium thing just doesn’t work to sell gas, does it? Well, we don’t blame the guy, we blame whomever put him in the commercial. Is there nobody else that they could have chosen to deliver those lines? Or does Giant Eagle just want to reward “Tom”for being a “good guy,” by putting him in a commercial, because he is LITERALLY the only guy in the Pittsburgh area that DOESN’T show up at the GetGo pumps with an SUV dangerously packed to the ceiling with empty 2-gallon gas cans when he earns more than 80-cents/gallon off!
But wait…. we discovered the Giant Eagle evil secret! You’ve heard of subliminal advertising, right?
As it turns out, Giant Eagle has found that, when people watch this commercial, they start to clear their throats, over and over as they watch this commercial (ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem). Sometimes they run the same commercial back-to-back (ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, a-HEM, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem).
The next thing ya know, you think you have a sore throat and you’re running out to the Giant Eagle Pharmacy to grab a box of Sucrets or Hall’s Menthol Cough drops. And while you’re at the store, you’re like, “Oh Hell! I better get some TheraFlu and some NyQuil cuz if I’m getting sick, I don’t want to have to come back out. Wait, oh, Ginger Ale is on sale? I better get three of ’em. PopTarts! I forgot them last Wednesday, I’ll grab some now. Oh, shoot! I need milk too. And since I’m gonna be sitting around sick for a few days, I better grab a couple of these magazines to read.” Then you say to yourself, “JESUS, I only came here for some cough drops and NOW I need one of those baskets to carry all this stuff!”
Giant Eagle, we’re on to you guys! And now we have published your evil ways. On the same token, we’re up for making some money through this blog soooooooooooooo here’s OUR idea. You give us $100 per month. Then, in every blog post from this point on, we will print, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem and ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem, ahem, a-HEM, ahahahahem, ahem, aheeem, ahahahahem throughout the post.
Hey Giant Eagle, the GOOD NEWS is, your commercial is NOT as irritating as those screaming dad and daughter “We’ll save YOU a lot of money!” travesties, Ya Jagoffs!
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