WPXI Reporter Courtney Brennan filed a report about volunteer firefighters, EMS and police who were dispatched “for a vehicle accident, a rear-end type collision.” 911 had sent messages that the female driver was fleeing the scene and wasn’t dressed. Imagine THAT coming over your scanner or emergency radio.
What a great recruitment tool for volunteer fire and EMS agencies: Volunteer firefighter’s beeper goes off and he says to his buddies, “I gotta go. There’s a half naked drunk woman running free at a car accident.” WHOAAA.. blow some sirens, chase drunk naked women, where do I sign up?
As it turns out the lady crashed her car and, not only had booze in her car but her 7 year-old daughter too. And apparently mom didn’t remember that she had an identifying license plate on the car she was leaving behind when she decided to run away from the scene dragging her daughter in tow. Mom ALSO didn’t expect that there’d be some young boys in the neighborhood that would do ANYTHING to say that they caught themselves a naked lady on their summer vacation!!!
Ok, maybe she had a good excuse, maybe, JUST MAYBE, she was trying to teach her daughter the age-old lesson of “making sure you always go out with clean underwear on just in case you get in an accident.” Maybe mommy didn’t have time to put clean undies on when she was rushing to get herslef to choir practice and her 7 year-old daughter to summer bible school soooooooo, when she got in the accident, she said, “Hey, I better take my 3-day old panties off before the ambulance gets here so I don’t get in MORE trouble.” (Just sayin’)
Hey “Mommy DRUNK-est,” here’s a toast to hoping that your daughter finds a good foster family and that YOU get some time solace time in jail to pull your life together and get that pole-dancing career on track, YA JAGOFF!!
Don’t forget to get your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” T-shirt by clicking the t-shirt below.