You know when you are about to say something sensitive and you disclaim, “Some of my BEST FRIENDS are…”  Well, I write this knowing that some of my best friends are USAirways employees.  Just not the ones I am about to mention!

I haven’t flown USAirways in nearly forever and NOW I know why.  The employees seem to be sooooo miserable!

Going out of Pittsburgh, our flight landed 25 minutes early but we had to sit on the tarmac for a while.  No biggie UNTIL the flight attendant heard the passengers complaining and, over th PA system, “spanked” everyone (while still on the tarmac) with a snotty “It’s ONLY 9:07 and we are ONLY a few minutes late!”   Still NO BIGGIE. (We ended up at the gate 20 minutes AFTER the originally scheduled time.)

Going back to Pittsburgh.  We meet flight attendant KEELY (sp ??) seen in photo above (yes I realize its blurry).  As we board, she is in the front of the plane talking on the internal phone.  I have no interest in listening to her conversation but I just happen to be stuck  there while customers load.

(Conversation excerpt) “Well if you’re not married, then why do you still where your wedding ring? Blah, blah, blah…”

WAIT!   Keely, isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to be doing your half-hearted greetings – “Hi! Hello! Hi there.  Welcome aboard.  Hello.  Hi.  Hello!  Welcome… (you get it).”  OK, STILL not a biggie to me.  I hear the same conversations between teenage workers in the check out line at Giant Eagle.

Now comes the BEST part.  As we are taxi-ing, Keely and her partner start the “pull the seat belt tight, your seat is a flotation device” talk.  Keely is in the seat in the rear near the passengers, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS CUSTOMERS!  As she is going thru her safety talk, she stops a couple of times.  Then… (HERE IT COMES)….she says to the CUSTOMERS seated in the rows near her, who are talking accross the aisle to each other, “Would you mind?  I can’t concentrate with you talking!”

WHAAAAAAAT?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????  Another good part coming……

Once she finishes the safety talk, she hangs up the PA phone and says to the customers (in an 80-year old nun kinda way), “Continue.”

I nearly CRAPPED my pants!!!!!

Soooooo BEFORE this becomes a total diatribe; to Keely and the other USAirways employees – I realize the USAirways senior execs stole your pensions, your raises, your jobs and your bennies but, if you’re THAT miserable, its time to grab a beer and jump down the emergency slide.

And, dearest Keely, nice work SCOLDING your customers like a scene out of Kindergarten Cop when you can’t seem to “concentrate” on that repetitious “safety talk” that you give 1,000’s of times a year, YA JAGOFF!