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WPXI

Mar 21 2013

Ohhhhhh, THIS is Uncomfortable

YJ-Bonner

 

In basketball terms, this is called an “alleyoop.”  Someone tosses the ball up at the basketball rim and you jump up and SLAM that MUTHA home!

Click  here (WPXI) if you want the full story, including WPXI’s Cara Sapida awesomely delivering the line, “…is not getting the boyfriend of the year award..” Haaaaa..I just KNEW it was going to be good hearing that.

There was huuuuuuge excitement In the Jagoff News room at that point.  I literally stood up and yelled over to the JBND (Jagoff Breaking News Desk), “Listen up.  This is what we live for!”

Here is a summary of the Joshua Tale:

This guy Joshua and his girlfriend ALLEGEDLY stole DVDs from the Bridgeville Right Aid.

Working as a team, they have done this more than once ALLEGEDLY.

Upon escaping this time, Josh decides to leave his Honey-Bunny behind and take off in the get-away car his Honey-Bunny was supposed to be driving.

She now has no ride and thus sings BETTER than a canary.. more like Jeff Jimmerson at a Penguins game in front of 400,000 fans.  (Including where exactly to find Josh.)

This is no longer a Who-Dunnit!

In war there is no substitute for victory said Douglas MacArthur.  And in OUR war on people trying to make the rest of us Pittsburghers look bad, there is no substitute for STOOOOOOOOOOOPIDITY!!!

Josh, buddy… what were you thinking???  You ticked off your girlfriend big guy…like  left her served up on a platter to the police.

Wow… there’s literally nothing in the “Guy Manual” for handling this one.  You’re own your own!  Have never heard of the ol’ “Hell hath no scorn like a woman-ALLEGELDY-left-holding-a-bag-of-stolen-DVDs-who-was-left-behind-at-a-crime-scene-by-her-man?”

Good luck Josh-mosh… ya know, your future would have been a whole lot safer if you would have left your photo I.D. at the crime scene with a note that you were the one who killed Jimmy Hoffa and left an open box of doughnuts and a note taunting the incoming police, Ya Jagoff!

 

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

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Nov 21 2012

Yakkin’ With YaJagoff! – WPXI’s Scott Harbaugh

This is the 2nd week we’re trying a new feature! 

Our  web-series called “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” where we interview interesting Pittsburghers.

Our guest for this episode, WPXI Meteorologist Scott Harbaugh. 

We talked to Scott about:

How he got started

It’s O.K. to NOT ask him about the weather

Weather forecasting on Twitter

Why do meteorologists roll up their sleeves?

His Kevin Benson imitation

He let’s me have access to the forecasting computer

Look for more “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” videos every Wednesday.

You can follow any of our videos by subscribing to our Ya Jagoff  YouTube Channel.

Leave some comments below (good OR bad).

Tell us on who you would like to see interviewed in future episodes.

And, of course, feel free to SHARE the page.

 

Click this pic to see our first video, “TC” The Beer Guy

 

Pre-order one of these in time for Christmas.

Pre-orders will be taken in order to ship in time for Christmas!!!

Click the pic to order.

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Aug 15 2012

Ahhh..They Keys Were In The Car (Causing the GOOD BOY To Steal It)

Bunches of people tweeted, Facebooked, e-mailed, snail-mailed, texted, instant messaged, UPS’ed, FedEx’ed, smoke signaled and called through a string-and-can system to bring this story to our attention.  It couldn’t be anymore classic of a story for this blog.

Just in case you were out of town like we were or had your head “where the good Lord CRACKED you” here’s the brief synopsis.

14-year old sees unoccupied car with keys in it

Kid steals car (or thinks it’s just his to use thanks to Saint Pontiac, patron saint of automobiles)

Police chase car

Kid crashes car

Mother tells news reporters, it’s partly the car owner’s fault for leaving the keys in the car

Full story on WPXI.com

Mom goes on to say that the police should have never chased her son as he took his little ride.  She says he might have just been going for a ”joy ride!”  The one thing missing from the story was the infamous quote about how the suspect REALLY IS a “good boy!”

When we read this story, we picked up the phone, called our parents and thanked them PROFUSELY for spanking us when we were younger!!!!  We then called our 7th and 8th grade nuns and thanked them for pulling/twisting the short-hairs on the back of our neck every time we acted like.. well.. you..know.

So if ya see keys in a car THAT IS NOT YOURS it’s should be ok to take it?  What happens if ya see an unlocked front door on a house, is it O.K. to enter it, turn on the cable, pop some microwave popcorn and put your feet up, enjoy a little TV and consider the coin jar on the mantle a gift?

Oh wait, in that case, if the aisles and aisles of food in Giant Eagle are left unattended by the stock-boy, is it perfectly O.K. to grab a couple of steaks, take them to the “seasonal aisle” and set up an unattended grill with an unattended bag of charcoal briquettes and lighter fluid, cook the steaks and eat them with an unattended bag of chips for a free dinner?

Mom, we were going to suggest taking your son to church or some other nonprofit group for a little repentance.  But we’re a little concerned that, when they pass the collection basket, you’ll say, “Well, they shouldn’t have passed it in front of him and tempted him with it“ after he grabs the basket and runs out of church with a couple of hands full of money, Ya Jagoff!!!

 

Lots of people to credit for this post but let’s give a shout out to Facebook Follower Mia Dentice in Georgia for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!

 

 

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Aug 1 2012

… So Call Me Maybe…..Jagoff!

Sometimes these things just write themselves.  Wishing that we had a photo of this knucklehead.  Here’s the story on WPXI.com.

Simple stuff.  Dude robs house.  Drops phone.  Gets, um…CAUGHT!!!!

There are no details if Shawn Butler was caught because of his frequent call list:

 1) Bail Bonds Office

2) Parole Officer i.e, BFF

4) Checks Cashed Office

5) Sammy – Pot Dealer, i.e, Almost BFF

What we do know is that this story makes us want to break out into song!!!!!!  We say Carley Rae Jepsen “Call Me Maybe” works just fine! If you are from under  rock, and don’t know the song, the video is below.  You can watch it before you read our parody lyrics.

So here we go:

Hey, I just robbed you, and this is crazy.

But here’s my number, so call me maybe.

It’s hard to look right, from the line-up

But here’s my cellphone, so call me maybe!

Shawny-my-man…good luck in jail.  THAT probably won’t be a good place to lose your cell phone either.  Call us when you get out.  For your get-outta-jail gift, we will get you a cellphone belt clip so you can keep your cellphone on the next burglary, then use it to post pictures of your bounty on Facebook, Ya Jagoff!!!

Thanks to WPXI Dave Bondy for putting this on his Facebook page!

 

“Your phone’s ringing, Ya Jagoff!”  Free Ring Tones

Click thumbnail below.

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May 14 2012

The Ross Morgan Rager Story

Why are we writing this story?  First, it’s from Pittsburgh and it made for embarassing national news.  Second, it was hugely viral and, mentioning could help our ratings!!! (at least we’re honest!)

One other note, notice how we applied Trashy Political Ad Principle #7 on the pic, we chose a pic of the kid responsible, that made him look asleep!!!

So, if you haven’t seen the news or are not on Twitter, here’s the story summary (full story HERE on WPXI.)

A kid from North Allegheny High School was going to have a party for some friends at his house while his parents were away.

Some of his friends chose to do the kid a favor to help with attendance, so they Tweeted the hashtag, #RossMorganRager.

The next thing you know, #RossMorganRager was trending nationally and, eventually, internationally

So many people were trying to find the party that, Ross Morgan and his parents had to vacate their house for the weekend AND, they had to hire off-duty police officers to watch the house all weekend.

So many potential Jagoffs here… the kid that was going to have the party, his buddies that chose to invite other people cuz they wanted to be cool

His buddies that are now considered cool, like Mark Zuckerberg, for their unique approach to get chics to think they’re cool

The Twitter Jagoffs who got the hashtag wrong and started tweeting #RossMorganRanger (If their would have been a party, they would have missed it!)

Urghhh!

As an aside, the one thing we learned early on in our high school career was NEVER have a party at your own house.  That way you’re never stuck spending your college money trying to repaint, shampoo carpets, fix broken hand railings and eradicating the pungent odor of urine from your front lawn before your parents come home from their weekend get-away.

Another aside, if this would have been us in our high school days and our parents found out we were on the news, they would have been on camera with us, tugging and twisting on the short hairs of the back of our neck as we spoke!

Truthfully, the thing that makes US the most upset is, this past Friday, we litterally just did a presentation to a bunch of small businesses as to why they should get into social media and that, social media ISN’T just people tweeting silly stuff like sex, drinking and parties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Now you guys are spoiling OUR party!!)

So to the dudes that tweeted #RossMorganRager, thanks a lot for killing everything we said in our presentation that social media “is not!”

In the meantime, could you please do us a favor and tweet the following hashtags:

#SomeonePLZGoSeeAPittsburghPirateGame

#FollowYaJagoffcom

#ManciniBreadIsTheBest

#CaraSapidaIsCoolOnTwitterAlndSoIsScottHarbaugh

#StopSendingUselessHoroscopeTweets

#StopSendingDM’sSayingSomeoneIsTalkingBadAboutUs

#EatPierogiesAtBraddock’sAmerican Brasserie

Now that the world is following you, we might as well leverage your fame, and it’s a helluva lot easier of a punishment than going to the chalkboard and writing, “I Must Not Send Inappropriate Tweets” 1,000 times, Ya Jagoffs!

NOTE: If you’re on twitter, try to tweet something today with #IfIWouldHaveAttendedRossMorganRager

 

Hey, it’s almost BEACH TIME.. Myrtle, Outerbanks, Jersey Shore.. don’t forget a beach chair that CLEARLY states you’re from Pittsburgh and that this is

YOUR SEAT!!! 

Click the pick to get to the ordering page.

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