Photo Credit: Salena Zito, Tribune Review
As a Pittsburgher, do you find the above message unacceptable? Is it even more unacceptable given that hashtag, selfie, and tweep join over 150 new words and definitions added to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate® Dictionary in 2014?
It’s outrageous and, as Pittsburghers, we need to change this. It’s time to rise up and take control!
Over the next few weeks you will see various Pittsburgh comedians, Deadliest Catch’s Captain Wild Bill, Mike and Molly’s Billy Gardell, Pittsburgh Dad, Mayor Bill Peduto and other Pittsburghers, and Pittsburghers-at-heart, on social media making their pitches to get behind this!
Call to Action
We are asking everyone to sign our petition to push the Webster’s Dictionary publishers to add the word Jagoff. As Pittsburgh continues to gain recognition for many things, we must stake our claim in the official dictionary. Additionally, if silly words like qui, xis and suq are acceptable in Scrabble, Jagoff has to be acceptable. Without Double/Triple Words/Letters plays, it’s worth 18 points and could be a bigger game changer than a Jerry Meals call at home plate during a Pirates game. Sign the petition at this link-> http://www.yajagoff.com/jagoff-dictionary-petition
The petition will be open until November 25, 2014 at 11:59pm
For every signature and verified email address collected, Pittsburgh-based, 3 Guys Optical Center will provide a coupon for their service AND make a donation to the Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation.
Please go sign the petition and share to all of your Pittsburgh buds to sign!
Sign the petition at this link-> http://www.yajagoff.com/jagoff-dictionary-petition
You sit down at a table, hoping for good food, good service, good times aaaaaand then….. the table rocks because one of the leveling pegs is missing or too short. Which leads us to one REALLY obvious question, “What happened to this table between now and 4 minutes ago when the LAST couple was using it?” Did they finish eating, pay their bill, then inconspicuously crawl underneath the table with a tool box, put it up on jacks and twist the level-thingy just after they conspired to twist the salt and pepper shaker lids partially off (so that they would dump all over the next users food) and then run like hell?
So now your faced with asking for a new table or, like most of us do, finding some way to tolerate the irritating rocking OR jury-rig a solution of napkins, or stacks of Sweet-n-Low OR put your foot on the table leg or lean your elbow heavily own the table for the entire meal so that the unlevel side stays put.
All that I know is….this world now has equipment that allows a guy to parachute from outer-space, gyro-fitted video cameras that can tape a ride on the Kennywood Racers and make it look like you’re on a smooth ride in a low-riding Escalade and CMU students that make driver-less cars.
We also have Smartphone Apps that track your pre-meal exercise caloric burn, provide driving directions to the restaurant, make wine suggestions for your meal, calculate the calorie intake of the meal AND then allow you to post photos of your meal on social media.
But for some reason, nobody can figure out how to keep restaurant tables level for more than one meal.
Will someone on the Allegheny County Council PA-LEEZE write a job description for a Restaurant-Table-Leveling-Thingy-Adjustment-Professional (RTLTAP for short) and require all restaurants to hire one then up the 7% alcohol tax to 10% to pay for it, Ya Jagoffs?
What’s Your Favorite REAL or MADE-UP Trick To Level a Rocky Restaurant Table??
If ya read the story about this fracking water tanker on this bridge in the Observer-Reporter, you get the story from the driver that he didn’t see any of the 3 or 4 “4 Ton Limit” signs as he approached the bridge.
Me, on the other hand, takes one look at that bridge and says, if I was on a bicycle I probably would think I was too heavy to cross that bridge. Especially if I had eaten just before crossing or hadn’t pee’d for the last hour.
But good ol’ boy, Jason Wayne Strawderman, took a look at the bridge as he was sitting on top of a truck of water with a 4,200 gallon max laod, says, “Well, we gotta get across SOMEHOW!” And he ends up creating a scene from what looks like a new Indiana Jones Runs From Pittsburgh to Morgantown movie.
Well, J Dubya… good luck at your next job. Let’s just hope it’s not guessing weights at Kennywood Park, Ya Jagoff!!