Pittsburgh

The New BMW Construction Vehicle

 (Travel has me tied up so recycling this post. It’ still relevant.)

The above photo (minus our Jagoff-astrator notations) came to us with this caption:

Who needs a truck #jagoff ?

Haaaa… (sniff)… haaa.. that’s kind of it, RIGHT?   This is another one of those “Damn-it-I-wish-I-had-gotten-the-SUV-or-Pickup” posts. (See the previous hot-tub post here)

The first thing I thought of when I saw this pic was, “Boy that DYI Channel sure is bringing out the handyman in everyone!!”  I can just see this guy.. he gets up in the morning, goes to the spa, runs to Starbucks for a cappuccino-carmel-double-shot-of-vanilla-with-a-whole-lotta-other-crappa-lotta, has a cup of yogurt and says, “Honey, I’m gonna go put in a french drain today!!  But before I stop and get the pipe, I have to stop at Macy’s to get a flannel shirt and a pair of those work jeans, the kind that have the tool-holding-hooky-thingies on the hip.”

As an FYI, I am absolutely HORRIBLE at home repair products.  Like, if you were calling a list of people to help you with a home repair project, I would be on the list BELOW your drunken Uncle Stush who will only come over if your fridge is full of Iron City cans.

So back to the BMW…. I wondered if this was a special option for BEAMER drivers who like to smoke but don’t want the second hand smoke to blow toward their kids in the back seat.  Then I thought, maybe this is a FANTASTIC new church-pipe-organ-entertainment-center option.

But NOPE!  It is what it is.. a BEAMER hauling stuff.

And to “Steely McBeamer” (that was crafty, huh?) if ya have enough $$ to purchase that nice car, don’t ya have $19.95 to rent the Home Depot truck for an hour OR hire the “We Haul Anything Including Your Sleeping Mother-in-Law” people from the Pennysaver or Craig’s List, Ya Jagoff?

 

Thanks to our Virginia-based Twitter Follower and Honorary Jagoff Catcher Lowell Murray.

 

Don’t Forget!

You can get FREE “Jagoff” ring tones and phone screensaver.

Click the pic and see how to download it for free!

Yakkin’ With YaJagoff – Open Throttle 360 Co-Host, Tom Lang

We are yakkin with Tom Lang, co-host of the Root Sports “Open Throttle 360″ Western Pa car racing show produced by 321Blink.

The bad news… I know ZERO about cars but…well..you’ll see!

Click below to OpenThrottle 360 site.
openthrottlelogo
Hit the Kickstarter site to donate

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

For the production!

Deer Culling in Mount Lebanon Called Off – 5 Reasons Why

YJ-MtLeboDeer

Well, the controversial deer culling of Mount Lebanon has ended.  See story by WTAE Kelly Brennan  This project has brought a level of controversy to the swanky town of Mount Lebanon not seen since Michelle Obama sported a sleeveless TJ Maxx dress in public.

It has been ugly…

people likening the deer culling to Nazi Germany (not kidding)

very conduct-unbecoming-of-a-chai-tea-sipper comments to well-known Pittsburgh blogger/Pittsburgh Magazine writer, Virginia Montanez calling her an “uppity heartless wench

in a true sign of wild animal solidarity, turkeys causing a motorcyclist to get hurt due to them protesting in the middle of a road.

People wanting to hand out free bike and hockey helmets to the deer (kidding)

There has been jagoffery on both sides… someone seen on video sneaking in to help the deer escape from the corrals and now the guy in charge of shooting the deer, admits to WTAE that, at one point, it took 11 shots to the head to kill 3 deer due to faulty ammunition and that now it’s too warm to carry on the project.

Enter YaJagoff.com because no matter which side of this deer-culling-circus you’re on, the entire thing has hit a 9.8 on the silly-ass-sh$t scale.

With all of the controversy surrounding this project, you’d think that the hunter dudes and dudettes would have made sure everything, including the ammo, was ready with NASA-Navy-Seal level precision preparation. But nope…faulty ammunition excuse….sheeesh!  Thank GAWD they didn’t use the ol’ “Deer had harder skulls than we had anticipated due to running into so many Mt. Lebanon vehicles” excuse.

Well, our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) looked into this and here is what WE found as potential reasons why the Mount Lebanon deer culling failed.

1)  We established that there are no, zero, nunya, zippo empty beer cans around where the deer hunters were prepping. Huge mistake.

2) There is no evidence that any of the hunters ate a minimum of 6 1/2 quarts of re-heated chili prior to the hunts. Bad juju.

3)  All of the hunters were honest with their spouses about how long they needed to be away to hunt the deer.  These people can’t POSSIBLY be real deer hunters.

4) Not enough fox urine on the hunters clothes and boots.

5) The deer are more difficult to cull in warmer weather when they have more options for food….somehow, the professional hunters were not aware that it starts to warm up toward the end of March.  They all must have only visited Pittsburgh once… during the Blizzard of 1993 and assumed it’s always like that.

So, professional hunter dudes and dudettes..the closest I ever got to going deer hunting was when my ex-father-in-law took me and asked me to wear a brown jump suit and an antler hat.  Also, I know/care ZERO about hunting ANYTHING other than a serious bargain on hockey tape!  I get a chill just walking through the freezer section of the grocery store to get the meat that is cleaned and ready to cook let alone sitting outside in the freezing cold TRYING to catch some.

But, what I DO know, if your group was hired to do this in the midst of all of that controversy, don’t ya think ya woulda had the details down a little better to get this done right, Ya Jagoffs?

 

Thanks to WTAE  for the story…we consider her to be an Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

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