Pittsburgh

Video: 2014 Pittsburgh Regatta “Parking Chair”

On July 4th, the “Floating Parking Chair” (#FloatingParkingChair on Twitter) embarked on it’s journey to win the Pittsburgh 3 Rivers Regatta “Anything That Floats Race.”  Some bystanders had reported that we had come in 7th out of 20-plus boats (unverified by Dewey, Cheatem, and How CPAs).

As you can see from the video, we didn’t win but we didn’t sink or drown!  The photo above is very Lewis-and-Clark-ish.  It’s perfect.

Thanks to Amanda from BoldPittsburgh for the video.

No prize money for the  Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation on this outing but you can feel free to find out more about the organization or donate by going here.

Here’s how to follow people on twitter if you want.

@BWolfe510 Beth Wolfe

@SASPensFan Scott Smith

@TheJunctionMan Michael Pellas

@Mdvana Mike VanAlstine

@AlNarcisi Amanda Narcisi

@DaveCalfo Dave Calfo

Jason Davidson on Facebook

The Vin Man on Facebook

George Dudash on his 2002 flip phone

 

Couple Tries Hard But No “Best in Show”

YJ-DogLeash

 

A Washington County, Pennsylvania couple did their best to NOT embarrass the rest of us from Western Pennsylvania by moving their private activities to West Virginia but…..

BJ Geardello and her doggy “best friend,” Robert Deyell, took their kinky stuff to a busy intersection of US 40 in the Triadelphia.  He was naked crawling on all fours with her in a robe walking him on a dog leash.

See KDKA-TV HERE

Ya see.. today, everyone has a camera phone and.. well….it ended up on the internet.

As it turns out, both admitted to just being into some kinky sex.  Police actually checked over Robert to see if he had been injured from crawling and from the shackles.  He was reported to be fine other than your standard Labrador Retriever hip dysplasia symptoms.

The best part of this story was how fast the West Virginians were tossing this story back across the border like a hot potato.

(Clear your throat and read this in your best stereotypical West Virginian old uncle voice) “Wazn’t one of ahrs!”

Despite BJ and Robert’s best efforts to cloak this activity in West Virginia any-thing-goes lore,  the West Virginia big-wigs were FAST to point out that these two were from Pennsylvania.

BJ and Robert… God bless ya on your desire to stay active and have some fun.  But paleeeeze, if you’re gonna do that again, could you please take it inside a Florida or West Virginia WalMart where that kind of stuff is standard practice and nobody would even THINK about taking your pictures or turning you in, Ya Jagoffs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jagoff Peanut Butter Jars!!!

 

 

If you’re a peanut butter eater, you will get this.  If you are NOT a peanut butter eater, you WON’T get this so hit SHARE,  move along and get ready for tomorow’s Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff video with Pens Hall of Fame announcer, Mike Lange.

As a peanut butter eater, who is coming to the end of the peanut butter in the jar, two things happen:

1) As you scrape your knife around the bottom inside edges of the jar, most of the peanut butter forms a little mountain of peanut butter in the CENTER of the bottom.  Thusly making it close to impossible to get it out.  You have to smash the little mountain against the side to get some on your knife, then you go back in and scrape and make ANOTHER mountain.

2) This one’s the big one, as you are scraping the bottom of ANY peanut butter jar, you end up with your knuckles covered in peanut butter from trying to work the knife down in.

This may sound piddly but, we can put a man on the moon, we have smart stoplights that know what time of day it is, we make virtual 1st-down lines on a televised football game, we have upside down ketchup, liquid soap containers AND soap containers that make foam, plastic coffee containers that turns out are the same containers for house paint but….. the peanut butter jar hasn’t changed since it moved from glass to plastic?  Hell, even BUTTER moved to a big ol’ tub!!!!!  When is the last time anyone changed ANYTHING about peanut butter other than making it HORRIBLE by trying to make it Low Sodium????????

Hey Jiff, Skippy, Peter Pan, Smuckers and the rest of you, it might be time to re-think this peanut butter container thing.  I’m tired of PBK’s (Peanut Butter Knuckles). Sure, the back of my hands look nice and young from all of the oil that has soaked into them every morning over the years.  But I’d REALLY like to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar without feeling like the banana on an Elvis Presley sandwich,  Ya Jagoffs!