Pittsburgh Drivers

Apr 18 2013

Just Another Day In Oakland


Ok.. let’s just keep this simple because you can CLEARLY see what is happening here.  Yes, as if Oakland traffic around the University of Pittsburgh needs another excuse for traffic jams other than the 1,021,021 buses that stop to pick up riders just as the intersection lights turn green!

Now THIS guy has to feel important and pull into an intersection on a Yellow Light and… well… who would have ever thought… the Yellow Light turned  to a Red Light on him!!!!  Whooda thunk?????  Now he’s just left sitting there…. right in the middle of, well, EVERYONE!

Hey Tahoe-Terry….. nice work!  No man is an island, BUT, when you have a complete lack of respect for traffic and traffic lights, some men become, well.. you know where we are headed with this dontcha????

FYI, Tahoe-Terry, the 39 seconds it takes to sit at an Oakland Red Light plus, maybe, another 6 seconds for the Yellow Light has got to be a better gig than the horns, dirty looks and fingers you received from the oncoming drivers.  And by the way, be sure that, when you get to your destination in Oakland, that you DON’T pull off to a parking area, make sure that you pull just to the right of the road causing even MORE traffic jams due to your complete lack of consideration for others, Ya Jagoff!!!

 

 

Don’t Forget To Order Your Own T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

Share

By • Drunk Jagoffs, Uncategorized • Comments • Tags: , , , ,

Mar 19 2013

And They Wonder Why We Stop At The Tunnel…

Who HASN’T made fun of the drivers that drive 60mph up to the entrance of the Squirrel Hill tunnel and then suddenly hit their brakes as they enter it?

(The weird thing is, if we all make fun of those drivers, who in the heck ARE those drivers????)

But let’s not digress too far from the photo above.

While 99.091230876% of us are trying to STOP drivers from slowing down at the tunnel entrance, here’s an official sign that says “BE PREPARED TO STOP!”  But that sign, as you can see, is preceded by a “MAINTAIN SPEED THRU TUNNELS” sign….. HUH????? Do I hit the gas or ride the brake????

(Remember that line from the movie Animal House..”Well what the hell we s’posed ta do, ya moron?)

OK… for the sake of argument,  let’s say this makes sense to me and I do as the signs instruct…I maintain my speed through the tunnel but should be prepared to stop.  And WHY should I be prepared to stop?  Because there are even MORE SIGNS TO READ!!!!!

With all this signage how is anyone supposed to pay attention to maintaining their speed when entering the tunnel?  More importantly, with all these signs, how is anyone supposed to concentrate on the song on the radio or Pandora as they enter the tunnel so that, when the signal picks back up on the other side of the tunnel, we never missed a beat and are singing in the exact spot that the song is on??????????

All that we know is, no wonder people are afraid to enter the Squirrel Hill Tunnel, the road leading us up to the entrance is basically lined with deck of reading flash cards and the REAL fear is that Sister Anecita, from 4th grade, is on the other side to give us a reading pop quiz, Ya Jagoffs!!!

Thanks to @HondaZombie for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

Share

By • Driving Jagoffs, Uncategorized • Comments • Tags: , , , , , , ,

Mar 18 2013

A Bike Parking Jagoff! #PeterParkers Get Better and Better!!!

Photo Credit:wtae.com

 

Ok….. had a post about Girl Scout Thin Mints ready to go for today and then BOOM….Breaking Jagoff News from the Settlers Ridge area of town!  HOLD THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL MIMEOGRAPH MACHINE!!!!

Now, we have posted tons of Parking Jagoffs  here (we call these people “Peter Parkers”) but this one is cutting edge jagoffery!!

Surely you have this experience in your parking career…you scurry around a busy lot, you see what looks to be an open spot in the distance, you speed like a “bat outta hell,” to get to that open spot annnnnnnnnnd…. there’s some dinky little car in the spot that you couldn’t see until you turned into the spot at 40mph.  Something that looks like a roller skate with a gas tank.  AHHHH fooled! So you angrily back out and look for another spot.

So the bicycle in the photo above didn’t necessarily take the last spot but…. the fact is ….it TOOK A SPOT!!!

Here is the tweet that came with the photo,

Leaving your bike in a parking spot – Is this a 3rd parking jagoff for the day?

So……  either a cycler plopped their bike there OR someone’s minivan got home with a load of Settlers Ridge Giant Eagle groceries and one less bike hanging on the family bike rack.   Whom on the family of stick figures, decaled on the back window of the minivan, will be without their bicycle???

Well, we sincerely doubt the latter scenario cuz, how in the world would a bike INADVERTENTLY fall off of a bike rack of a moving vehicle and be perfectly centered between the painted lines?

Hey Bike-Plops (how about THAT one?), you don’t need to plop your bike in that spot cuz you feel inadequate for riding your bike to the store… it’s the trendy thing to do.  Don’t worry, someday you’ll have a big-boy vehicle and be allowed to park in the big-boy spots.  Maybe some day you’ll even be able to wear big-boy UNDIES too!!

But for now, can ya please use the racks designated for bicycles..otherwise cleverly known as BIKE PARKING RACKS?

The only GOOD news about your bike parking, with the horrible parking we have seen from Pittsburghers, the fact that your bike is in between the two white lines, probably means not a soul, not even a granny that sits on 2 phone books to be able to see THROUGH the steering wheel, will run over your bike, Ya Jagoff!

 

Thanks to @Will Reynolds Young for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Will was on FIRE this day… submitted a total of 3 Parking Jagoff posts within 12 hours!!

Click the pic to see how to order your own hoodie!!!

Share

By • Parking Jagoffs, Parking Lot Jagoffs • Comments • Tags: , , , , ,

1 2 3 4 5