Parking Jagoffs

A Truly Unique Peter Parker!



Not much to add to this pic from Penn Hills!  Of course, I used the Jagoff-estrator to point out the fire hydrant that this Peter Parker seemed to miss despite the fact that it is bright yellow with an orange top and there’s not a thing higher than it, in the this-has-been-the-longest-winter-ever brownish grass field!

Maybe the car is part dog and it has to take a pee???

To repeat our Jagoff Catcher, “The whole street is open and ya pick the exact spot of the fire hydrant to park,” Ya Jagoff!


Thanks to @jayempea from Instagram for being the Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

A Plethora of #PeterParkers Christmas Shopping


Peter Piper picked a plethora of Peter Parkers parked poorly probably pissing-off other parker people and a puppy.  Yeah.. I just did that!!  (Did that just become an irritating ear worm for you?)

I was going to do a catchy Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines” thingy for these Peter Parkers but, thought you might be getting tired of that song by now.  (You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)

Catching “Peter Parkers” continues to spill across Pittsburgh lines.   The pick-up pic is from Honolulu.  One is from Scranton, PA (home of Dunder Mifflin town).  And one is from the Steubenville, OH area!!  We are spreading the good word but just can’t seem to get Peter Parkers to park perfectly!!!!

(You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)  Yep.. that’s now stuck!

So, we ask you, do we have too stringent of rules on which we judge?

Our evaluation tools for “good parking are:”

  • The car is touching the asphalt – CHECK
  • All four wheels are in the same parking lot – CHECK
  • The sunroof isn’t touching the ground! CHECK
  • Common Courtesy FAIL!

For the KIA Soul driver with the open door like a SWAT team morning read, in your defense, I guess there WAS probably that I-need-to-get-the-very-last-Malibu-Barbie-Dreamhouse-with-working-elevator-live-Ken-sized-Christmas-tree-with-battery-operated-lights-and-train-and-real-mortgage-papers-which-registers-your-kid-up-for-a-$100K-balloon-payment-due-at-age-21.

In previous ”Parking Jagoff” posts, we have offered NUMEROUS solutions to helping people be less IG’nernt with their parking.  Our favorite solution is, hire some of the guys, that manage those parking lots during sporting events, to work at these lots….those guys that charge $45 CASH for every spot you take whether or not it has a 4-foot hole full of broken glass?

At $45 per spot, we guarantee that will teach ”Peter Parkers“ how to take up ONLY one spot because, at THAT rate, EVERYONE figures out how to squeeze their Winnebago-with-an-attached-fresh-pig-on-a-spit-trailer into a spot the size of a Smart Car,

Learn how to park, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs!  (get it? 4 of em(You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)  Yep.. you hate me now!

Special thanks to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram follower, Deb Bohan, Greg Barbour, @BaldFatGuy and @tam8225  for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers today.

And don’t for get the CHALK CHALLENGE! 

The next time you see a Peter Parker, write on the ground near the car and THEN take the picture.





Red Solo Truck – Peter Parker!


Now a red solo truck is the best receptacle
For barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals
And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles
If you prefer parking like a Jagoff!

A red solo truck can be cheap and disposable
And when parking like this can be made blog-composable
And unlike my home, it’s not foreclosable
Unless you prefer parking like a Jagoff!

Red solo truck, you cannot park!
Let’s try some parking, let’s try some parking!
I love you red solo truck, I lift wrote you up
Proceed to parking, proceed to parking.

Now I really love cuz you’re easy to make fun of
We call these Peter Parkers, which now you are one of
Cuz when ya park in lots like that
Well, that my friend, makes me quite lucky.

But I have to admit the ladies get smitten
Admiring how sharply my blog name is written
About you when the truck isn’t fittin’
into the parking lines, Ya Jagoff!!!

Everybody sing….

Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let’s have a party, let’s have a party
I love you red solo cup, I lift you up
Proceed to party, proceed to party

That song is now stuck in your head!!!! You’re welcome!!


Thanks to Mr. The Moon on Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.
Adaptation of Red Solo Cup: Toby Keith – Red Solo Cup Lyrics | MetroLyrics