Parking Jagoffs

Lines? What Lines?

We had a completely different post set for today.  But, out of no where came an email.  And it contained, not just photo of a bad parking job, but a photo of  bad parking job CALLED OUT by one of our printable notes!!! (We’re soooo excited!!)  This horrendous parking job was found at the Cinemark parking lot out near Robinson Township, PA.

But wait!!!  Remember, we try to be about looking for solutions vs. placing blame.  You see, if we wanted to, we would actually place blame on the incompetency of the line painters for putting the lines in the wrong place and then congratulate the driver of the car for proving the point and making the line painters look bad!!

So as not to place blame on the driver without getting the real story, we sent our “Hard-Hitting” Jagoff Investigative Reporter team out to look at this.  And after they were done eating at the Settler’s Ridge Market Place and getting cheap boxes of candy cigarettes and Boston Baked Beans and purchasing nostalgic t-shirts at Five Below, our investigators found out this poor driver has a major vision problem.

You see, this driver, pulled into this space and, on the way to the movies.  As they were entering the theater lobby, they walked right into the post between the two entry doors.  Then, when standing in line to purchase their tickets, was found straddling the “form line here” rope, and when they went to get a fountain drink, ended up with a mix of Pepsi and Raspberry Iced Tea and a very wet hand because they couldn’t get the cup directly under one of the spouts and, finally, when they ultimately got into the theater, they ended up complaining to the Cinemark Manager about how sore the theater seats made the crack of their butt… only to realize they had actually watched the entire movie while unknowingly sitting on an ARMREST vs. an actual chair!!

So Cinemarker-Peter-Parker, we might actually hold a fundraiser to get you some cool frames at Pittsburgh’s best Eyetique!!

But until then, please only visit car washes that have that pulling-thingy to pull your car straight in.  And, when in a lot like this, don’t even try to back-up, pull-forward, turn, back-up, turn the wheel, then pull forward between the lines (otherwise known as PARKING) cuz, all that silly backing-up/pulling-up stuff is a total waste of gasoline at $3.89 per gallon, Ya Jagoff!

 

 

Get your own printable Peter Parker notes to leave on these cars. 

Click the pic below to download.

 

It’s a Peter Parker Catcher Friday

YJ-Tim

 

It’s kind of like a parking wedgie!!!

For those times when you WISH you could…. this Jagoff Catcher one-ups the Jagoff #PeterParker from the yellow car.

Here’s to hoping that the driver of the Mercedes parked their car, purchased some movie popcorn with some extra butter, a super large pop tankard and some Junior Mints.  Then after that, hoping that they sat and relaxed on a bench across the street, in a Hannibal Lecter maniacal kind of way, and, when the yellow car driver came back to their vehicle, the Mercedes drivers used their thumb and pointing fingers, IN A PINCHING configuration, to fantasize about squishing your head over and over from many angles like we were in 4th grade.

Hey driver of the  I-bought-this-car-car-to-make-up-for-my-small-physical-characteristics car, next  time you’re trying to park, call ahead, we’ll put up the bumper railings like they do on kids bowling alleys, Ya Jagoff!

A Video of a Monroeville “Peter Parker” in Action

YJ-Monroeville

Yesiree!!!  You must watch this video of this person trying to UN-park!

Go ahead, watch it.  We’ll talk after.

You can see the entire story from Ashlie Hardway of WTAE here.

So the video begs the question… should someone record an action like this on their cell phone OR go outside and help direct this idiot to keep the Jagoffery from occurring?

Either way… it sure is fun video to watch (now that we know no pets or humans were injured during the process).

In the meantime, please go to an 18-wheeler truck driving school and learn how to drive that little Honda half-of-a-SUV, Ya Jagoff!!

 

Be sure to follow Ashlie Hardway on twitter @AshlieWTAE