NHL

Does Sidney Crosby Have the Mumps or….

YJ-BigAngeSugery

Yesterday, the Penguins admin announced that Sid has the mumps.  However, prior to that, the news from the Pens camp was, they weren’t quite sure because he had received and injury to his neck in the Carolina game.  They had to make sure that swelling, in his neck and face, that looked like every other mumps-laden NHL player, was indeed mumps.

Is there anyone out there, even the kid who’s repeating his first year of Guatemalan medical school for the 6th time, who did NOT think that Sid had the mumps based on the history of how many NHL players have had the mumps and what his face looked like?

Yes, a medical diagnosis has to be based on evidence and not a “if it looks like dog poop and tastes like dog poop, it is probably dog poop,” decision-making process.  But jeeeezus…..I think it would have been more believable to say that Sid was planning on having a spot on Housewives of New Jersey and was consulting with Big Ange on beauty secrets, ya… (wait.. I’m chicken-ing out!!!  I can’t call the Pens admin ja…um……..) Ya Ja……. NOPE!  Can’t do it!!

But thank GAWD we all now admit that Sid DOES have the mumps!

What did YOU think could have been a reasonable explanation for Sid’s face?  Comment below.

 

Ottawa Senators Owner – Eugene Melnyk

Well, the Penguins are facing the Ottawa Senators.  And now this whole thing of the Penguins’ Matt Cooke “purposely” using his skate to cut Senators’ Erik Karlsson’s Achilles Tendon in a weird play during the regular season is a key part of the story line. The Sens owner, Eugene Melnyk has even gone to the point of personally hiring a private investigation team to PROVE Cooke’s actions were purposeful.

But no word on Melnyk’s hiring of an investigative team for HIS player’s recent knock-out shoulder placed on the Canadiens’ Lars Keller.  And why would he?  Like Cooke’s hit, it was an unfortunate part of playing hockey!

But then…..

The other day, when it was named that it was the Pens vs. Sens in the next round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, apparently a few Pens fans started some nasty-word Tweets to the Sens owner.  So, instead of chucking it off an attributing it to a couple of outta control Pens fans… who may OR may not actually be from Pittsburgh, Eugene-the-Agitator stirs the pot a little more by tweeting the following message:

Some tweets we get from fans are profanity filled. That’s classless – it’s just a game. You are embarrassing your city, team & players.

Indeed it is a GAME!  And sometimes the players get hurt which is very unfortunate.  So bring in whatever investigative teams you need to chase Matt Cooke around town when he gets to Ottawa. Feel free to be distracted.

And, let’s make one of those City-vs.-City bets…like… when the Penguins beat the Senators, you agree to call off this Witch Hunt and, since those private investigators will need something to do, why don’t ya pay to have them come to Pittsburgh and, once and for all, solve OUR mystery of the B-25 Bomber crashing into and being secretly removed from Monongahela River. Now THAT’S good use of your INVESTIGATIVE money, Ya Jagoff!

NOTE TO EUGENE:  The word Jagoff is NOT profanity.

 

Special thanks to @Pmmalinowski for suggesting today’s blog post!!!

 

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

 

Pens Vs. Sens – Chris Neil Is Our Man

YJ-ChrisNeil

Last night’s Pens game against the Ottawa Senators was one of the first games in a loooooooooong while that I got to sit down and watch, pretty much, the entire game.  Good game.. good beer…good chocolate cheese cake that was an unmarked restaurant-leftover item sitting in the fridge SCREAMING at me to rescue it and tuck it carefully into my stomach.

The game, the beer, the cheese cake…. all equally enjoyable.  Until……. Well, watch the video below (it’s only 13 seconds long).

So what we see here is a lesson in UNBELIEVABLE PATIENCE exhibited by the Penguins’ Matt Cooke.  He gets pushed, punched and then punched in the face again!  As a result, BOTH guys get penalties.. Cooke, who literally takes an excerpt from the Bible and turns the other cheek.  For that, he gets a 10-minute misconduct penalty.  All this because… well… because he is Matt Cooke!!

If you go read the Ottawa papers and blogs, they are blaming Cooke for cutting Ottawa Senators defenseman Erik Karlsson, Achilles Tendon, with his skate on purpose earlier in the game. ESPN story here.

The bottom line, Chris Neil deserves a post here for acting like…… CHRIS NEIL!  The game officials deserve a post here for penalizing Matt Cooke for…. NOTHING…oh wait.. acting like Matt Cooke USED to act.

Hey NHL officials, you remind me of my parents that, when something happened between my younger brother and I didn’t do anything…they punished ME ’cause I “should have known better” as the older person.  As we reviewed the NHL Rule Book , we actually found page 349, Paragraph 5, subsection 2.4 which is the hardly-known “you should have known better rule” implemented by some NHL hockey moms back in the 1980’s.  Hmmmm, guessing Cookie’s penalty WASN’T stoooooopid, Ya Jagoffs!

And Chris Neil…. probably if you were on our team, we might actually like you… like we “liked” the old Matt Cooke, but, you’re not … sooooo we DON’T!  And, if we had our way, we’d do to you what my parents would have done…. grab you by the short hairs on the back of your neck, twist them, pull them a little harder and then, in a very direct tone tell you, “Keep your hands to yourself,” and then send you to your room, Ya Jagoff!!