Jagoff

Video: 2014 Pittsburgh Regatta “Parking Chair”

On July 4th, the “Floating Parking Chair” (#FloatingParkingChair on Twitter) embarked on it’s journey to win the Pittsburgh 3 Rivers Regatta “Anything That Floats Race.”  Some bystanders had reported that we had come in 7th out of 20-plus boats (unverified by Dewey, Cheatem, and How CPAs).

As you can see from the video, we didn’t win but we didn’t sink or drown!  The photo above is very Lewis-and-Clark-ish.  It’s perfect.

Thanks to Amanda from BoldPittsburgh for the video.

No prize money for the  Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation on this outing but you can feel free to find out more about the organization or donate by going here.

Here’s how to follow people on twitter if you want.

@BWolfe510 Beth Wolfe

@SASPensFan Scott Smith

@TheJunctionMan Michael Pellas

@Mdvana Mike VanAlstine

@AlNarcisi Amanda Narcisi

@DaveCalfo Dave Calfo

Jason Davidson on Facebook

The Vin Man on Facebook

George Dudash on his 2002 flip phone

 

Couple Tries Hard But No “Best in Show”

YJ-DogLeash

 

A Washington County, Pennsylvania couple did their best to NOT embarrass the rest of us from Western Pennsylvania by moving their private activities to West Virginia but…..

BJ Geardello and her doggy “best friend,” Robert Deyell, took their kinky stuff to a busy intersection of US 40 in the Triadelphia.  He was naked crawling on all fours with her in a robe walking him on a dog leash.

See KDKA-TV HERE

Ya see.. today, everyone has a camera phone and.. well….it ended up on the internet.

As it turns out, both admitted to just being into some kinky sex.  Police actually checked over Robert to see if he had been injured from crawling and from the shackles.  He was reported to be fine other than your standard Labrador Retriever hip dysplasia symptoms.

The best part of this story was how fast the West Virginians were tossing this story back across the border like a hot potato.

(Clear your throat and read this in your best stereotypical West Virginian old uncle voice) “Wazn’t one of ahrs!”

Despite BJ and Robert’s best efforts to cloak this activity in West Virginia any-thing-goes lore,  the West Virginia big-wigs were FAST to point out that these two were from Pennsylvania.

BJ and Robert… God bless ya on your desire to stay active and have some fun.  But paleeeeze, if you’re gonna do that again, could you please take it inside a Florida or West Virginia WalMart where that kind of stuff is standard practice and nobody would even THINK about taking your pictures or turning you in, Ya Jagoffs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t be a Jagoff to My Stroller

LizGP_Head

That’s Liz Golden-Phillips, a Pittsburgh Stay-at-home mom, up there.  

While I continue running back and forth between  Joe’s Rusty NailJack’s Bar and the Stroll Inn celebrating the

Pittsburgh Magazine, Best of 2014 recognition for ” Best Snarky Nod Toward Local Behavior ,

I have asked some guest bloggers like Liz to take over. 

YJ-LizGPStrollter

One of the best tools a parent can arm themselves with is the stroller.

I love how the latest strollers are less fluffy and more utilitarian. I have the honor of owning a Navigator- Double Jogging Stroller (reason listed below).  This bad boy takes it to a whole new level. You probably could care less so I will not go into much detail. I can say it holds both my tots who are equivalent to 50 loaves of Mancini’s bread.  It’s also a Jagoff magnet.

On many a Saturday mornings you can find me down the Strip District w/ my Irish Twins (Sophie 2YO & Layla 11Mos).  Sample some great foods, do some shopping and soak in the local sights. You should see the looks I get trying to make my way down the sidewalk with the double stroller. Like someone forgot the coleslaw on their Primanti’s sandwich. Death looks from sidewalk hoggers. Most of which are being jagoffs on their phones!!! I am courteous and my kids are pretty darn cute. Don’t care. I am in the way. I am in the way of everyone. Even strollers w/ one baby shun me. So I take to the street only to be honked back on the sidewalk by a PAT bus. My only fan. Sister Mary Whateverhernameis selling baked goods at a little table outside of Roland’s. I think she could see my Catholic school day scars. She was very sweet and so were her treats!

This isn’t the first time my glorious stroller was hated on. Arts Festival goers were annoyed too. Oh well. I always have Frick Park. I am welcomed with open stroller. Joggers share the lanes w/ smiles and the occasional “hello.”  Dogs prance past us w/ ease as we stroll free of smirks and dirty looks. After the park I can swing by D’s Six Pax for a hot dog and beer. Oh wait, my jagoff stroller doesn’t fit through the door!?!

Be nice people!!! And don’t be a sidewalk hogger, Ya Jagoff!!!

Be sure to follow Liz on Twitter @LizPgh