Jagoff Drivers

The New BMW Construction Vehicle

 (Travel has me tied up so recycling this post. It’ still relevant.)

The above photo (minus our Jagoff-astrator notations) came to us with this caption:

Who needs a truck #jagoff ?

Haaaa… (sniff)… haaa.. that’s kind of it, RIGHT?   This is another one of those “Damn-it-I-wish-I-had-gotten-the-SUV-or-Pickup” posts. (See the previous hot-tub post here)

The first thing I thought of when I saw this pic was, “Boy that DYI Channel sure is bringing out the handyman in everyone!!”  I can just see this guy.. he gets up in the morning, goes to the spa, runs to Starbucks for a cappuccino-carmel-double-shot-of-vanilla-with-a-whole-lotta-other-crappa-lotta, has a cup of yogurt and says, “Honey, I’m gonna go put in a french drain today!!  But before I stop and get the pipe, I have to stop at Macy’s to get a flannel shirt and a pair of those work jeans, the kind that have the tool-holding-hooky-thingies on the hip.”

As an FYI, I am absolutely HORRIBLE at home repair products.  Like, if you were calling a list of people to help you with a home repair project, I would be on the list BELOW your drunken Uncle Stush who will only come over if your fridge is full of Iron City cans.

So back to the BMW…. I wondered if this was a special option for BEAMER drivers who like to smoke but don’t want the second hand smoke to blow toward their kids in the back seat.  Then I thought, maybe this is a FANTASTIC new church-pipe-organ-entertainment-center option.

But NOPE!  It is what it is.. a BEAMER hauling stuff.

And to “Steely McBeamer” (that was crafty, huh?) if ya have enough $$ to purchase that nice car, don’t ya have $19.95 to rent the Home Depot truck for an hour OR hire the “We Haul Anything Including Your Sleeping Mother-in-Law” people from the Pennysaver or Craig’s List, Ya Jagoff?

 

Thanks to our Virginia-based Twitter Follower and Honorary Jagoff Catcher Lowell Murray.

 

Don’t Forget!

You can get FREE “Jagoff” ring tones and phone screensaver.

Click the pic and see how to download it for free!

Which Way We Going? Another Jagoff Driver!

Ya know when you are sitting in your car in multiple lanes of stand-still traffic and you start to daydream then the car next to you pulls forward and you PANIC thinking that your car is drifting backwards so you stomp on the break pedal?  Well, that’s KIND OF  what happened here.

We received this email the other day:

“I was driving on Route 22 heading towards Murrysville.  As I passed the on-ramp for the Turnpike on the other side of the road, a jagoff in a black minivan was backing up on 22 because
he missed the entrance!  As it is illegal to back up on any road regardless if you use the shoulder or not, he did it!  He also turned his van and took both lanes up.  He created a cluster @#$@#”

Seems that our man in the black mini-van missed at least 3 different signs pointing him to the Turnpike including one that’s ONLY about 4′ x 4′ with an extra arrow pointing to the on ramp that says TURNPIKE!

So because we give everyone a fair chance to defend themselves, we found Mr. Minivan and asked him directly WHY he was backing up the wrong way during rush hour causing a panic.  Was it because he was on the phone and yelling at the kids to turn the DVD player down while trying to hold his EZ PASS up to the windshield and at the same time trying to tune in DVE’s  Mike Prisuta’s “Steelers Report from Latrobe?”

Gosh no!  As it turns out, Mr. Minivan drives EVERYWHERE backwards.  He told us that driving backwards keeps him from racking up the mileage on he and the wife’s pleasure van so that, when they trade it in on an updated 1998 model, they can get more than Blue Book for it!

Hey Mr. Minivan, we suggest, driving backwards, ESPECIALLY during rush hour on busy roads, is somewhat of a hazard to your health AND your minivan’s Blue Book value.  In the meantime, we have requsted PENNDOT and the Turnpike Commission to install more signs that say, “Just In Case You Missed The Last 7 Signs For The Pennsylvania Turnpike and Don’t Have a Nagging Wife or Female GPS Voice To Tell You How To Drive, THIS IS YOUR EXIT, YA JAGOFF!”

 

DashCam Guy – Even More Videos of Pittsburgh Drivers

 

YJ-DashCamGuy_02_2015

 

Watch video!

 

Click HERE to subscribe to his YouTube Channel if ya wanna.

And Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook out cuz Dashcam Guy LIVES, Ya Jagoffs!

You can order our book of Jagoff stories.

Click the pic.

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