Dec 21 2012
OK. So we’re in a WIERD situation!
We thought about NOT wasting time on a blog post for today since we are all supposed, well, not here. But then again, maybe the Mayans were wrong and we all woke up today.. which means we needed a blog post for today.
So, here’s what we did.
We recycled part our post from May, 2011 when Jagoff Harold Camping predicited the LAST nonsensical apocolypse event.
“Harold Camping, the gravely voiced, 89-year-old founder of Family Radio; the man who pinpointed May 21 as the exact date of the Rapture based on clues sprinkled throughout the Bible. He is very confident in his prediction.” (click here for the full story)
Some say the Mayan Calendar says the end of the world will be December 21, 20012.
Harold, Mayans, I listened to you. I am now broke cuz I drained my bank accounts to buy alcohol and rent a drive-in-sized screen for a neighborhood karaoke party and get a Duquesne Club membership, my parents hate me because I finally fessed up to stealing and wrecking the car when I was 17 ( I had previously blamed it on my cousin who got grounded for life), my neighbor hates me because I made a pass at his hot wife, I am hung over from drinking to forget about making a pass at the neighbor’s hot wife, I am in jail for looting the Ross Park Mall Tiffany’s, Apple and L.L. Bean stores to try and make my neighbor forget about me hitting on his hot wife and I now owe each of my kids a Mercedes Benz and an iPad2 that I promised them if they cleaned their rooms aaaaaaaaaand I now have to do 2 weeks worth of laundry and have to pay my credit card bill aaaaaannnd, on top of all of that, I purposely did not purchase a Christmas tree so now I’m gonna have to use my grandma’s fake SILVER tree AND there’s s’posed to be heavy snow predicted and, last week, I resisted urgers to waste money on toilet paper, milk and bread, YA JAGOFFS!!!!
COMMENT BELOW IF YOU ARE ABLE TO READ THIS.
EVERYONE WHO COMMENTS IS ELIGBLE FOR 2 OF OUR JAGOFF UMBRELLAS WHEN WE RAFFLE THEM OFF AT 00:01 12/22/2012!!