A Christmas Present for All Steelers Fans

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A little special Saturday treat!

Last week we put this on Facebook but, then realized, not all of you are on Facebook and Twitter.

Feel free to SHARE or EMAIL to a friend or two!

A Plethora of #PeterParkers Christmas Shopping

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Peter Piper picked a plethora of Peter Parkers parked poorly probably pissing-off other parker people and a puppy.  Yeah.. I just did that!!  (Did that just become an irritating ear worm for you?)

I was going to do a catchy Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines” thingy for these Peter Parkers but, thought you might be getting tired of that song by now.  (You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)

Catching “Peter Parkers” continues to spill across Pittsburgh lines.   The pick-up pic is from Honolulu.  One is from Scranton, PA (home of Dunder Mifflin town).  And one is from the Steubenville, OH area!!  We are spreading the good word but just can’t seem to get Peter Parkers to park perfectly!!!!

(You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)  Yep.. that’s now stuck!

So, we ask you, do we have too stringent of rules on which we judge?

Our evaluation tools for “good parking are:”

  • The car is touching the asphalt – CHECK
  • All four wheels are in the same parking lot – CHECK
  • The sunroof isn’t touching the ground! CHECK
  • Common Courtesy FAIL!

For the KIA Soul driver with the open door like a SWAT team morning read, in your defense, I guess there WAS probably that I-need-to-get-the-very-last-Malibu-Barbie-Dreamhouse-with-working-elevator-live-Ken-sized-Christmas-tree-with-battery-operated-lights-and-train-and-real-mortgage-papers-which-registers-your-kid-up-for-a-$100K-balloon-payment-due-at-age-21.

In previous ”Parking Jagoff” posts, we have offered NUMEROUS solutions to helping people be less IG’nernt with their parking.  Our favorite solution is, hire some of the guys, that manage those parking lots during sporting events, to work at these lots….those guys that charge $45 CASH for every spot you take whether or not it has a 4-foot hole full of broken glass?

At $45 per spot, we guarantee that will teach ”Peter Parkers“ how to take up ONLY one spot because, at THAT rate, EVERYONE figures out how to squeeze their Winnebago-with-an-attached-fresh-pig-on-a-spit-trailer into a spot the size of a Smart Car,

Learn how to park, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs!  (get it? 4 of em(You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)  Yep.. you hate me now!

Special thanks to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram follower, Deb Bohan, Greg Barbour, @BaldFatGuy and @tam8225  for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers today.

And don’t for get the CHALK CHALLENGE! 

The next time you see a Peter Parker, write YaJagoff.com on the ground near the car and THEN take the picture.

(Sample)

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From the “Get the !@%$#” Out Files – For REALZ

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Yep!  You read that right! Here’s part of the story from WPXI:

…in a kindergarten through eighth-grade school in Pittsburgh,  a mother snuck into the school Wednesday and instigated a fist fight among students.

…she actually snuck into the school through a back door with the help of her eighth-grade son… then proceeded to go to an upstairs portion of the school where her son began punching a classmate while being encouraged by the woman.

WHUT??? Whut, whut, whut, whut, whut, whuuuuuut in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hell is wrong with people??

But then again, how many parents just want their kids to be “happy?

Any chance we can blame this on music like they did in the 1960’s?  As a more current example:

You turn on the Good Morning America Friday Morning Concert Series and you see moms, dads and families bouncing their heads, dancing and singing along with that week’s Concert Series performer.  Everyone’s having a GREAT time clapping and singing EVERY WORD – all in good fun, right?   But wait!!  The performer is Katie Perry and she’s singing, “I kissed a girl and I think I liked it!”

Right then there’s a close up of a dad smiling like crazy standing behind his twin daughters that are holding their home-painted sign that says, “Celebrating our Sweet 18 Birthday with Matt and Al.”  And the girls GLEEFULLY sing as the chorus comes around again,  “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”  Uhhh, as long as the kiddies are happy, WHO CARES WHAT THEY’RE SINGING, right?

And how many parents do you think will be getting their daughters a swinging Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball to hang in the middle of their room so that they can be the next YouTube star??

Naaaaaah!  Blame it on the fact that you have to have a license to do just about ANYTHING other than become a parent!

Hey MMA Momma, not sure where this ALLEGED incident is going to lead but thanks for teaching your kid patience, humility and how to produce an MMA fighting event for cable!  Our thoughts, get a cheesy lawyer and say that the other boy was driving in the parking lot of Ross Park Mall last weekend, during the crazy Christmas shopping, and stole the very last parking spot in the lot DESPITE the fact that you had been sitting there with your turn signal on waiting for the person to put their packages away, settle in, start their car, check their wallet for all of the day’s receipts and put their make-up on pull out for nearly 15 minutes before they pulled out.  No judge would convict you for a temper!

Wait.. don’t do that.  You’ll continue to embarrass the rest of us Pittsburghers even more.

All that I know is, after reading this story, once again, I called my parents (because they don’t know how to text) and thanked them for beating my ever-loving ARSE occasionally with a paddle, Ya Jagoff!