Jul 4 2012

A “Magic Mike” Reject Caught Shopping

 

We had all plans of taking off today for the 4th.  Time to be with family and time to think about the nurses, doctors, techs, public safety professionals, EMS professionals, public transit drivers that are all working today on our behalf!

But.. and we use that term LOOSELY for this post…BUT… this pic came in over the Twitter feed and we said, this is worth delaying the new potato salad recipe!!!

This is the tweet that accompanied the picture:

Man in front of me at Dollar General has hole in his pants. May be wearing a thong?

Haaaaa.. wait!  OK to go “commando“ as long as you check your “jorts” (jean shorts) for LEAKS!  Especially if you’re gonna be in close proximity to other people like STANDING IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE FULL OF HOLIDAY SHOPPERS!!!!

By the way, if you search the definition of “jorts” on the internet, many things come up including:

Jean shorts, occasionally called “jorts”, are a garment worn by women or men that covers the pelvic area, the buttocks, and… (Full info here)

This guy, missed the whole “covers the buttocks” part!!!  FYI, this photo was taken in the Chicora area which, given the kind of racey attire going on in that town as apparent by this pic, should be renamed as Bow-Chicky-Chicora-Bow-Bow!!!

Let’s make it clear, this is not a bullying post or a post about someone who cannot afford great clothes, this is a post about a guy’s ARSE hanging outta his pants for no good reason!!

Wait, maybe we could start a new book series, “50 Shades of Jagoffery” and the opening line would be, “There he was, just showing a patch of hairy-arse skin thru his JORTS!” Just doesn’t seem to work!

Hey Magic-Mike-Reject… even the kids who wear their pants down around their crack know to put on some kind of undies.  Pallllllleeeeeeeeeeezzzzzeeeee put on some der-wear the next time you go out in public!!!!  And, incase you need a refresher on how to put them on, the yellow stains go in the front and the tractor-trailer-type skid marks go in the back, Ya Jagoff!

Thanks to  @TeenyC87 for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher of this 4th of July Holiday!

IMPORTANT!!!!  Go see our “Where In The World Is a Don’t Be A Jagoff T-shirt” page on the site.

 (Click Here)

Happy Fourth of July!!!

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Jul 3 2012

You Paid WHAT To Go To The Concert?

As expected, there were a few “Concert Jagoffs” at the recent Kenny Chesney show Saturday night. The local news showed a bunch of them that got arrested for fighting. (Yes, and we should sell beer at Kennywood cuz adults know how to control their liquor consumption in the hot sun around other adults, RIGHT?)

But this guy, we will call him Bucky like we do all concert Jagoff males, takes the prize!! He’s proof that, in the age of smart phones, your close friends are you close friends at least UNTIL you do something stupid enough worthy of posting on the internet!!!!

Can ya hear it?

Bucky’s Friends: “Hey, we just defended your honor.”

Bucky (Fake Name): “Oh, cool!”

Bucky’s Friends: “Yeah. Someone said you weren’t even good enough to sleep with the trash and we said, yes you are and sent them this picture to prove it .”

When you look at this picture, you think to yourself, “Wow, what ever happened to getting just-drunk-enough that you start telling everyone you love them, you started dancing alone in a corner fist-pumping and you started showing your buddy’s girlfriend how good you are at tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tounge?”

So you pay half of your mortgage payment on a concert ticket, invest in 27 bags of Doritos, pitch in for 4 kegs of beer, get the little lady a new blouse and cowboy hat, pay 1/3 of your mortgage payment to park, spend all afternoon singing “Kinny” songs getting fired up for the show and then………………..BLAM!!! Here you are in a position so compromising that your friends LEAVE YOU behind for dead or, even worse, help load your passed-out body into a random pick up truck bed AFTER and only after, they snap this pic of you sleeping on the cement!!!!

Bucky (not your REAL name), this photo is your friends teaching you a lesson through a newly approved Behavioral Change Methodology Phone App that we created called, TPE (Total Public Embarrassment).

We’re, not sure when you woke up from this but we’re guessing you had some serious gravel stuck to the side of your face when you did and enough pock marks to make you look like Bill Murray.
We’re also guessing you may have woken up with the munchies, took one look at the trash behind you, and said to yourself “Who dropped me off at the Eat n Park buffet?” as you started eating!!!

All we know is, in the future, be careful who you call a “friend.” Always be careful where you fall asleep. And, the big one is, stay away from the sissy, fruity BLENDER DRINKS the next time, ESPECIALLY if you’re wearing a plaid shirt, Ya Jagoff!!!!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Leave a comment below with YOUR suggested quote for the guy in the pic. We will give a prize to our favorite one.

Thanks to our Twitter feed for this pic!!!!! Twitter-er-ers did NOT let us down!!!

Don’t forget to check out our t-shirts. Proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research at Magee Women’s Hospital.

Click the pic.

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Jul 2 2012

The Name “Post-Gazette” Banned From Jagoff Newsroom and Blog

 

WOW!  A fire storm of “Jagoff” use last week in the print media over the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” banning the use of the term “Jagoff.”

We thought about not writing about this issue since so many others did but, then we thought, last August CBS-Pittsburgh awarded us ”Blogger of the Year” award.. AND USED OUR NAME.  Then, last week we got all “pee pants” excited when Pittsburgh Magazine announced that we were recognized as their 2012 “Best Local Blogger” in the readers’ poll AND THEY USED OUR NAME.  So we figured, now that there is a ban on the term “Jagoff” at the ”News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” there is ZERO possibility of winning any type of award there soooooooooooooooooo here’s our post.

The “deets” in case you missed them.

The “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” writer, Rebecca Sodergren wrote an article about Ex-Pittsburghers WANT for Pittsburgh things.  She wrote: “Dem Jagoff didn’t cut my chip chop ham right, n’at.” (Click HERE for article)

THAT led to David Shribman, executive editor of the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us,” distributing an internal email that included, “The word “jagoff” has no place in the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” or “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us.com.”

Then THAT led to the Pittsburgh City Paper’s Chris Potter writing an inside-back-cover full page about the history of the word Jagoff then a national media monitoring blogger, Jim Romenesko to post something about how silly this “ban” is.

Finally, Beaver County Times writer, J.D. Prose, used the issue to call out some political jagoffs.

So here we are. What to do?

We’re not about calling anyone at the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us.” Their writing staff can be pretty cool.  As evidenced by someone in their company leaking this silly memo.

Here are our thoughts on what we CAN do:

We need to ban together and figure out how we can get the word ”Jagoff” into the ”News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us.”  Might it be one of our followers placing a CLASSIFIED AD for a garage item or job or whether it be a company that sells mirrors that writes this into their ad, FFOGAJ so that , when you hold it in a mirror, you see it.  First follower to verify some type of sneaky placement gets a $100 gift card from us.

Second, we are going to suggest to the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” that additional terms/ phrases be IMMEDIATELY removed from the publication due to possible confusion for offensiveness:

  • Ho (as in Santa’s Ho-Ho-Ho or Hawaiian singer Don Ho or his sister who is indeed a Ho unless she gets married and changes her name)
  • Hoe (as in garden hoe)
  • Screw (as in a cylindrical rod incised with one or more helical or advancing spiral threads)
  • (In the comments section below, feel free to add OTHER potentially offensive words)

In the meantime to Mr. Shribman of the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us,” LIGHTEN UP, especially with how the term “Jagoff” was used in the original article….(waaaait for it)…..Ya Jagoff!!!

Don’t forget to check out our t-shirts.  Proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research at Magee Women’s Hospital.

Click the pic.

FYI, we totally realize that our “ban” will have zero affect on the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us” but it was FUN to write.

 

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