The Rush Hour “Curb Parkers”

Just in case you don’t know, this is downtown Pittsburgh during rush hour.  The lane where the cars are parked is SUPPOSED to be used to help everyone ESCAPE from work at the end of the day.

Given that Mayor Peduto is thinking “outside the box on other situations,” I’m thinking a very creative solution for this issue.  If you’ve been to the Kennywood, you know that between stops for Potato Patch Cheesey Fries and a Corn Dog, is the Raging Rapid ride, and you’re gonna love this!

I say make a downtown amusement ride out of this situation.

SOLUTION:

Allow people to rent junky cars that, during rush hour, would be allowed to purposely bounce into the cars that are illegally parked in the curb lane… just like the Raging Rapid boats.  Then, when the parked drivers get out of their car to yell and make a fuss about being hit, there are people who’ve paid to be up on that yellow bridge with water balloons and water guns, no wait, WATER CANNONS,  that soak the HELL out of these illegally parked drivers!  Who WOULDN’T pay to do that!

Hey, Curbies, we realize that you probably have VIPs-to-pick-up-that-can’t-walk-to-the-next-corner-Or-that-can’t-get-their-hair-wet-Or-have-empty-bowls-from-the-Friday-LETSGOPENS-office-party-Or-have-leftover-birthday-cake-in-a-flimsy-box THEREFORE making you believe that you are special and SHOULD be permitted to sit in this lane, cuz you have your flashers on, BUT…….

The rest of the people want to get home, so find a new pick-up spot, Ya Jagoffs!!!!

The Fort Pitt Bathtub Jagoffery

 

I was Jaggy-on-the-Spot for this one.

If you’ve been there, you know what we mean.  Traffic is lined up from the Fort Pitt Bridge approach all the way to the Oakland exit… what seems like 901 miles. EXCEPT for the right lane that heads to the North Side.  You can get in that lane and head to the west suburbs passing all of the UNFORTUNATOS headed up to the bridge.  UNTIL………………………………………………………………..someone goes down the right hand lane, all the way to the merge point and then puts their left turn signal on to nudge in…..BLOCKING THE ENTIRE RIGHT LANE FROM GETTING HOME!!!

WOW! The things ya see when you’re not driving your bulldozer!!!

If there was ever a need for one of those creepy, unshaven, talk-to-themselves, cigarette-filter-smoking dangerous-intersection flower salesman, it’s right here!!!  We could deputize him and have them write tickets every Monday thru Friday from 4pm-6pm and, there would be enough money to pay off the North Shore Connector in 2 years!

Hey “Red Solo Truck” driver (we think we used that one before but its  good one), first, nobody is supposed to drive a truck and have it THAT clean.  But wait, look at those sissy tires!  Who drives a truck with tires like that?  Did you borrow those from your wife’s 1978 VW Beetle???

I don’t care if you have a fructose-lactose-grease intolerance and you’re trying to rush home to a bathroom after eating your way thru the Peace, Love and Little Donuts, Klavon’s and Primanti’s in the Strip District, MOVE YOUR TRUCK!!  There’s more than one way to get home so take the open lane and get that zero-testosterone truck, out of my way Ya Jagoff!!!

Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – Burghman Part Deux

YJ-YakkinHeaderBurghman

Welcome to another “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” segment.

We are yakkin’ AGAIN with Pittsburgh’s ambassador/super hero Burghman.

Where does his Super Water come from?

Where does Burghman get his super powers?

We’re talking Bill Peduto

We dance the “Burghman Shuffle!”

Watch the video below.

Follow Burghman on Twitter @Burghman and Facebook 

Click the logo below to go to his website for

Comic Books

Super Water

Super Chocolates

T-shirts

BurghmanStore

THANKS TO:

For the production!

Special Thanks to the Toonseum for letting us in!

Toonseum