Those Sneaky Pins – a Poem!!!

YJ-Pins

On Monday.. or MONDEE as we say in Pittsburgh, I posted a blog about those nasty pins in dress shirts.  But then, AJ of AJWrites57 put this poem together and I just had to post it!  

Please share after you read it!

Those sneaky little pins,
they put in skirts and shirts,
are just like little sins,
they prick ya and they hurt.

They keep the folded clothes,
in stacks nice and neat.
They make uniform rows,
like bus lines on the street.

But when ya open them up,
those pins will jag ya if you linger.
Ya swear and moan and cuss,
shake and suck your bloody finger,
Ya make such a silly fuss,
and ya yell:

“Ya Jagoff”!

Follow A.J. on Google+ and check out his blog,AJWrites57.

AJ

He’s awesome!

Work Prank Jagoffs…at BNY Mellon

YJ-Foil

 

So, there I am, sitting on the toilet, scrolling through Instagram photos and up pops the photo above.  The message on the pic said;

Nothing like walking into your last day on the job and seeing this.  Glad this isn’t my desk.

It made my day!  Seriously, what do ya do with this if you were the victim… other than put on some sun glasses, strip to your skivvies and sit down like you’re gonna sun tan?  The good news was, I found this pic early while sitting on the toilet scrolling through Instagram.  Some days I sit there scrolling for so long  that my legs and feet go numb.  Then I have to hold on to all of the towel racks to extricate myself from the bathroom.

But back to the topic at hand…

This is one of those times where the victim of the prank would go through the various stages of the, “Ya Jagoff!” phrase

1) There’s the version, that’s posted on this log every day… venting about someone that has been a jerk, said with a scowl on your face, “Ya Jagoffs!” Of course, expressing displeasure toward whatever co-workers did this, or those that are laughing at it or are now posting your reaction on Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Instagram and, for those older officer workers, My Space.

2) There’s the version that expresses displeasure but, in a few minutes, you realize  this was pretty funny, and you wished you had thought of it, so half chuckling you say, “Whooooooooo everrrrrrr did this, I’m..I’m gonna… I’m….. oh…(as your admiring their work)..oh, Ya Jagoffs!”

3) There’s  the version where, you are either expressing appreciation to someone or  you’re simply just calm and happy… with a smile on your face and a hug, you say, “Ya Jagoffs!” This particular phase, more than likely, will come days, weeks or possibly months later when, the victim, pays back  the “foiler”  by sending one of those 1990-ish emails that says “Make sure you turn your speakers up for this one!” which then opens an email attachment that says, “Hey, I’m watching porn over here!”

In any event, this is hysterical unless you are the person that sits at this desk OR you’re my mother who would take one look at this and the proceed to whoop your ARSE for wasting all of that “good tin foil!”

Nice work BNY Mellon gang…. Ya Jagoffs! (Said in the smiling, we’re envious connotation!)

 

Thanks to Mayoraddyb on Instagram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher and for helping me find this pic, not once but TWICE on Instagram!

 

Who Put All Of the Pins In This Shirt?

YJ-Pins

So, I bought some dress shirts the other day. And, thankfully I am not on blood thinners.

Not only did I have to pull off all of the stickers, plastic collar button butterfly thingies, cardboard-under-the-collar hicky-ma-jigs but, I had to go on a “straight pin” exploration! The thing is full of them and, if you happen to put the shirt one, or, even worse tuck it in near your groin area, without finding all of the pins, there’s a pricking surprise.

Do we really need this many secretly placed straight pins to keep this shirt looking it’s best in the package? Can we not just fold them nicely and stack a 100 of them on top of each other which would nicely press the ones on the bottom? I mean, I have 4 dresser drawers stuffed tight with all of my free t-shirts and, the ones on the bottom of the drawer, look like they’ve been impeccably pressed at a dray cleaner with heavy starch!

Could we at least get a check list or a tag on the inside telling us where to find the pins or how many pins I might have to dive in and find?

Here’s the other thing, there AIN’T no machine that puts these pins in place. I’m thinking the shirt could be discounted by 50% if they saved the cost of the pins and putting them in.

Hey Macy’s, I didn’t think that I bought an acupuncture vest!

Thanks for making me go to my garage, weed through all of the inflatable rafts, skim boards, 12-year old snorkel masks and unused goggles to  dig out my once-a-year-Myrtle-Beach-Outer-Banks metal detector to scan my new shirt before I could wear it, Ya Jagoffs!